noctium inbox

[dirtdevil]

« levi » TEXT ✧ AUDIO ✧ VIDEO ✧ ACTION Levi Ackerman ✦ Attack on Titan
RESIDENCE ✦ 123 Fuck You St., in the Leave Me Alone district (tba)
GEMBOND ✦ Amethyst

(there is no blurb)

INFO ✧ PERMISSIONS ✧ KINKLIST

Comments

After the event, text - short, sweet and stupid

[loadbearing]

[At a random ass time, Levi would get a message. A very simple message. From the obviously named 'Ackerman, M'. Though there was one thing off. ]

Hey, are you at °°°? [and what proceeded was nearly his exact location. Mikasa had wrote the block or Street name, and if happened to move? She'd send another message with his new location. ]

[dirtdevil]

no

[loadbearing]

[Aww, it didn't work..?]

Guess that explains why commander Erwin is on here

[dirtdevil]

[ oh... she said the magic word. ]

what?

after the dust party

[flatten]

CAPTAIN

[dirtdevil]

what

[flatten]

PERMISSION TO ASK ABOUT SOMETHING PRIVATE

[dirtdevil]

no

action, 4/26.

[theomachy]

[ in the morning, erwin had gone on an errand. that's all he'd said, an errand. which is mysterious enough, but he'd been a bit cagey about it, which would probably be a worse thing if levi didn't trust him implicitly.

that said, he returns in early evening, slipping through the door of their home and calling out from the entry. ]

Levi? I found a small café on my way back, would you like to go get some tea together?

[ he looks exactly the same as usual, if 'exactly the same' is 'has two arms again.' instead of his sleeve being carefully tucked up so that it doesn't flap as he moves, it's down normally, and sturdy fingers poke out the end of it.

what's up with THAT. ]

[dirtdevil]

[ unsurprisingly, he'd wanted to tag along. it was really more of an assumption considering how rarely they've been apart here, but he could tell Erwin was intending to go alone, so he didn't even ask. given the choice, he'll always want to be wherever Erwin is, but he does trust him unconditionally, so he sucked it up and stayed behind, curled up on the floor in the fetal position in front of the door like a sad dog.

...well, maybe not the last part, but it was definitely the same kind of energy. Erwin was gone for the entire day, after all. so it's also not unlike a dog that he immediately perks up when he hears Erwin come back inside and call his name. did he say something about tea, too? holy shit. what a man.

anyway, Erwin will hear his totally angelic voice before he sees him. ]

Where the hell have you been? I've been sitting here on my ass all d—

[ when he actually sees Erwin, he freezes. his usual fake whining comes to an abrupt end—he immediately knows something is off. he's used to seeing Erwin's right sleeve down (though he also remembers it being pinned up this morning, because of course he does), but it's easy for anyone to tell that it's largely empty.

and now it isn't. ]

What...

[ he doesn't even know how to finish the sentence. his mouth just hangs open. where the hell has Erwin been? ]

[theomachy]

[ for once in his life, erwin feels self-conscious. he shifts slightly when levi freezes, a brief discomfort filtering over him before it dissipates. he'd known this was coming when he made this decision earlier in the week and had inquired about an appointment to get looked at.

he swallows, then speaks. ]

It's a prosthetic arm. The medical care here is more than we could have ever hoped for back home.

[ he lifts his arm to showcase it, fingers curling and uncurling. ]

It's amazing. They connected it to what was left of mine and I can control it. It's almost like it was never gone, save for the scarring where it comes together.

[ at this point he pauses, looking away before looking back again. ]

I wanted to be able to hold you properly.

[ holy shit. ]

[dirtdevil]

[ oh. okay.

he rarely finds himself speechless. he always has some kind of shitty comment to add, or a crude joke to make. but still nothing comes out of his mouth, even after Erwin explains. it is amazing, after all, and certainly not something even remotely possible anywhere else. frankly, it's overwhelming, and that's before he hears the reasoning behind it.

it's... stupid. so stupid. of all the reasons to seek a replacement for a missing limb—every single mundane everyday thing that became an absolute pain in the ass (or impossible) when Erwin was down to one arm—that's why he did it?

his face suddenly feels very warm. ]

...You're crazy.

[ it doesn't seem like it could be real. maybe he's the one going crazy? ]

Action (Early October)

[sing_for_me]

[ Alex had heard about the bar from other patrons enough times to be curious, especially knowing it was owned by a fellow gem bonded. So she finds herself visiting it after working at a different bar, just to relax and be a customer for once. She failed to notice, however, that a rather drunk customer from the bar she came from was also there.

Having recognized her, he starts to make a request for a song, to which she declines and explains that she’s off the clock and not working. But he pays no mind to that, raising his voice, grabbing her arm demanding she sing his damn song, or else what kind of good for nothing entertainer was she? ]

Sir, please! You’re making a scene!

[dirtdevil]

[ oh no no no. that just won't do.

the thing about being deceptively small is that people—large, drunk people especially—don't tend to take you seriously. unlike others in his position, Levi can't just glower menacingly at would-be troublemakers from the shadows and expect it to be enough. nine times out of ten they won't even see him in the first place, and then when he does have to approach someone, they tend to look down on him in more ways than one, drunk or sober. this guy seems no different.

what he can count on is being underestimated and thus having the upper hand, even against people easily twice his size. just as expected, this one doesn't see him as a threat at all when he issues a final (read: only) warning: what's a shrimp like him gonna do about it?

the answer to that question, as it turns out, is that he's going to grab the guy by his dumb ugly shirt, drag him bodily all the way across the bar, and then quite literally throw him out the door.

so much for not making a scene.

there's a bit of a hush in the room as guests watch it all unfold, and at the end of it, Levi instructs the guy never to come back and shuts the door. turning around to see half the bar looking at him doesn't exactly please him either, which he communicates with a scowl; it's enough to get people to stop staring, at least.

finally, he heads back to Alex, rolling his eyes at the ridiculousness of the whole situation. ]

Sorry. We don't get assholes like that very often. Are you alright?

[sing_for_me]

[ The unexpected hero makes quick work of troublemaker, and had Alex not known him already, she would have been a lot more surprised at the fact that this was his job. She’s not as tense when he returns, a more apologetic look on her face. ]

I am…thank you. Sorry about that, I think he came from one of our bars…

[ So she might have brought trouble there? ]

You’re um…not gonna get in trouble for that, are you?

[ She cants her head towards the bar that was already being cleaned up by workers that looked a little too used to this. ]

[dirtdevil]

Trouble? [ there's just a little bit of a lilt in his voice, like he's trying to act surprised. ] I was just doing my job.

[ he flicks a bit of dust (or possibly nothing) off his jacket. who knows where that dude had been? apparently another bar. what an idiot. ]

That's not something you need to apologize for. He probably got kicked out of that one, too. As long as he's not following you around.

sometime early december.

[theomachy]

[ when erwin wakes, he's not sure where he is at first. he doesn't panic but it comes close as the memories come crashing back down on him. memories of noctium, but also memories of what he'd just lived through.

died through.

he wonders how much time has passed since he was last conscious in noctium, and the thought that he left levi alone hits him all at once. as soon as he's able he gets up, shaking off the last of the feelings of drowsy weakness (though he still feels woozy for a while, he presses it aside) and...

... he goes. he's in plain clothing that was given to him because his uniform had been in tatters and covered in blood, and his new arm is gone (he'll have to get it replaced) because he'd been reverted to his previous state when he'd returned home and now... he doesn't look at the scarring under the clothing. he doesn't want to see it.

the last few moments of his life had been so fuzzy, so incomprehensible that he doesn't actually remember how things actually ended but that's not important right now; more important is getting to levi. it takes him a while to get back to their home and his heart sinks when he arrives to no one being there.

at first he sits, head in hands, feeling gutted and hollow.

then he cleans, because everything has a layer of dust on it and a frantic part of his mind that hopes levi will show up like nothing happened knows that levi would hate that. he's used to doing things one-armed again so it goes fine, but once he's done there's... nothing.

he goes to bed at night, gets up in the morning, and does very little other than the motions of living. he's not sure how long it is: it could be hours, it could be an eternity.

at least his ring had been on the bedside table; he'd put it on awkwardly, barely able to get it on his finger without dropping it (repeatedly, he still manages to drop it once or twice in his efforts). it soothes him a little, but the lack of levi is so unsettling and lonely that he's more a ghost than a man.

but he'll keep going just in case. ]

[dirtdevil]

[ in contrast, when Levi wakes, everything is crystal fucking clear. he knows exactly where he is—that crater, again—and exactly what he just saw. the image feels like it's permanently burned into the back of his eyes.

he feels sick.

but he also knows he has to get out of this place, so for awhile he turns on survival mode. without that focus, he knows he would just collapse and let grief overtake him. so just like the first time, he finds a rescue crew and makes it back to the station. everything blurs together—all the things he had stopped to stare at the first time seem completely unremarkable now.

who cares? Erwin is gone.

it hits him over and over. it's like his heart stopped right after he woke up but instead of dying he just keeps going somehow. he thinks dying would have been better.

Sumarlok from above is exactly the same, but it looks so much worse to him now. is he just supposed to go on living here on his own? he never thought he'd want to go home, but he made a promise to Erwin before—before he died, and he can't do anything about it while he's stuck here.

he lets the thought consume him. he knows it's the only way he'll be able to keep going.

he's in no real rush to get back to the house they built together. he goes largely on autopilot, because the dread of going inside alone for the first time keeps him from any desire to hurry. when he gets there, he'll finally collapse. he'll get back up eventually, because he has a vow to fulfill. it's all he has left now.

even his ring is gone.

so he's ready to let the grief take him—for awhile, at least—when he finally walks in the door. and when he sees Erwin, one-armed again but alive, he thinks he must be hallucinating. what a cruel trick for his exhausted mind to play on him—

but it's not a trick. it's not a ghost. right? he can't watch him disappear. he can't be left behind again. he just freezes, eyes stinging with tears he won't let himself cry, and looks at Erwin, halfway just waiting for him to vanish.

it's too much. ]

[theomachy]

[ there's such an ache the whole time. he wonders if the same thing happened to levi, he wonders when he'll come back, if he'll come back at all. the waiting is the worst part.

he hears the door before it registers properly and he looks up to see...

... well, the man he's been waiting for this whole time. he nearly chokes on a breath as he stands, hesitating a long moment before stepping forward. levi's hesitation in turn is enough to tell him all he needs to know: they're connected in timelines, now, at the same point instead of disparate. or at least, levi went forward far enough (if not further) to see erwin die.

to live through it.

he shifts as he comes closer, curving his arm around him and burying his face in his hair. he doesn't speak for a long moment, and when he does his voice is thick from where he's buried. ]

I'm sorry.

[ jesus christ, erwin. ]

[theomachy]

[ other than get erwin a new arm, they haven't done too much of note lately. staying home together is nice, and it soothes some of the despondency left from their trips home, but things still aren't perfect emotionally. there's an ache he doesn't like, a worry that they'll be separated again and nothing will be able to be done for it.

he trusts in levi's strength, but the way he acts now just means erwin wants to have to leave his side even less; there's a difference between living and thriving, and he can foresee levi firmly set to a flat 'living' status should that happen for them.

he thinks it might be better to distract themselves from it, which is why erwin suggested they explore the new city opened to them recently.

the teleporters are fine, but erwin wants to try the slower method to relax on their way. spend time together quietly. watch the scenery.

which is how they ended up by all the carriages, and an attendant is opening the door of one that's going to have just the two of them in it. erwin gestures toward the opening, looking at levi by his side. ]

After you.

[dirtdevil]

[ 'living' at its most basic level is an accurate description of the way he got by in the year following Erwin's death. he was alive in that he wasn't physically dead, and there was very little left beyond that. it was a pain so deep that even having Erwin back wasn't enough to make it go away completely; he's unbelievably lucky, he knows, but it still feels a little like one of these days he's just gonna break.

but it won't be today, so it's fine. everything's fine.

today is a rare traveling day, and frankly it's about time—even Levi, still stuck in a cycle of existential sulking, can acknowledge they need to get out more. there are so many things they haven't seen yet, and an undefined amount of time left to do so. "shit or get off the pot," as they say. someone said that, right? he's pretty sure he heard that somewhere.

anyway, he'd been kind of dreading the ride there, having assumed they'd have to share space with some randos, so it's quite the pleasant surprise when the door to their carriage opens and there's no one else in there.

of course Erwin already thought of that. who was he kidding?

he offers Erwin a small, knowing smile, and before stepping into the carriage himself he takes his hand, pulling Erwin in behind him. remember when he used to care about doing shit like this in public? you know, before The Thing happened? those sure were the days. ]

[theomachy]

[ erwin's time without levi was so brief, but he had no idea what had happened to him and it had been excruciating. but since levi didn't die back home, the only anguish once he came back was that levi had to be without him for so long. he still fears that one of them will be sent back home—erwin to a grave or levi to an existence without him.

it stings, at best. erwin wants to try and move past it, but he can't quantify exactly how to soothe himself, much less pull levi out of the chasm of loss. it's not that he's given up, but that he needs to work harder to manage both of them.

he did think carefully about getting the carriage for just them, because while they do need to get out around other people more, that'll be when they explore the new town. the process of getting there can be just them. it's in no small part selfish because he still yearns to spend every moment with levi that he can.

that small smile gets one in return as he allows levi to pull him into the carriage. he settles in to sit while still holding onto his hand—in fact he lifts it to his mouth to press a kiss to the back of it. how romantic. this man is a monster.

but he's still smiling as he looks up at him, tugging him a little closer and nodding toward the seat next to him. ]

un: posthaste.

[pfq]

This is Levi, right?

Sorry to bother you, but I had a question.

[dirtdevil]

[ uh. whomst the fuck ]

who is this

[pfq]

oh shit sorry, it's barry

from the space station last month

the quick guy