dirtdevil | noctium inbox

[ he offers Erwin a little smile as thanks, taking the cup in his usual stupid way, hand over the top. he'll drink it, of course, but he doesn't need to to know it's good. because Erwin made it. Erwin could have completely forgotten to put anything in the water and he wouldn't even notice. it'd still be the best tea he's ever tasted.

anyway. ]

It's definitely jarring. I don't know if it's this place being overkill or home being a shithole. Maybe it's a little of both.

[ a pause, and he frowns to himself. actually... ]

...It feels so easy, but if you weren't here I'd be pretty fucked.

[ or not fucked, as the case may be. ]

[ it's good that erwin learned how to make proper tea from watching levi, because handing levi a cup of hot water would have been an embarrassment.

honestly. ]

I think it's both.

[ he takes a slow drink of the tea, watching levi a moment, then frowns again. he's not upset, just thoughtful, and his free hand grips the edge of the counter briefly. ]

I'd feel lost without you here as well. We were lucky.

[ lucky doesn't even begin to cover it, but rather than voice what's probably obvious, he just takes a sip of tea.

hmmmm... yep, definitely the best tea he's ever tasted. much better than anything he would have had brewed by a rando at a cafe. (though he does still want to go to the cafe.) ]

Even then, I'd still be in the same position if you weren't...

[ uhhhh. is there a non-awkward way to finish that sentence? he just kind of trails off. he's gotta start thinking more before he opens his mouth. ]

[ no worries. they will go to the café. soon. erwin will probably buy levi a tea set while they're there. what a man.

he takes another slow sip of his tea as he watches levi, and even if there had been something else coming in addition he wouldn't have been able to say it because erwin leans forward to kiss him soundly on the mouth, like he's proving something to them both. ]

I'd be the same.

[ that's all. ]

[ okay, well, that's infinitely better than anything he could have said. he's a little dazed afterward, but it's a good kind of dazed. he really did get lucky, didn't he?

needless to say, it takes him a moment to pull his shit together. please hold. ]

I don't want to say I'm glad, but...

[ when it really comes down to it, Erwin's happiness is his number one priority. if Erwin could have been happier with someone else, it would break his heart, but he wouldn't fight it. if Erwin is happy (and safe), that's all that matters.

...but that isn't how it went down, so maybe he'll allow himself to be happy about it. fuck it. ]

No, I am glad. I can't pretend I'm not.

[ he really doesn't want to picture Erwin with somebody else. ]

You can say it if you want.

[ that he's glad, he means. erwin isn't going to argue about that of all things. in truth, he's glad as well: he feels lost without levi at his side, and just like it'd break levi's heart to see erwin with someone else, levi with someone else would have crushed a part of erwin's spirit.

they're so similar in this way: he'd have been happy levi was happy, but he'd never be content.

right now, though? he's very content.

when levi does finally admit he's glad erwin smiles and steals another kiss, humming softly. ]

So am I.

[ he may as well admit it. ]

[ were they drinking tea? he seems to have forgotten. don't get him wrong, he loves tea, but he loves Erwin a lot more. and he can't help smiling when Erwin admits he feels the same—it still feels unreal to be in this scenario, where they're allowed to be together and happy.

somehow, coming here wound up being one of the best things that have ever happened to him. ]

Good. At least I don't have to kill anybody that way.

[ he's kidding.

probably. ]

[ tea whomst. erwin shifts where he stands, thoughtful about it a moment before setting his tea aside and pulling levi in against him and holding him close. one arm around his waist, the other cradling his face.

it's intimate!!

he smiles. ]

You don't need to worry about that.

You mean they don't have to worry about it.

[ you know. the hypothetical person Erwin could have hypothetically been with instead of him. that he would hypothetically murder. them.

he still has his tea, not having expected this, but it's fine. he'll just chug it if he has to. so what if it's hot? he's the strongest person in the world. probably not this world, but it still counts.

he wouldn't even mind that it's a waste of tea. ]

Sure. They don't have to worry about it either.

[ he presses a kiss to the corner of his mouth, but he seems thoughtful as he holds him close.

but then he just presses a kiss to the side of his neck with a low hum, considering. ]

I probably should have let you finish your tea first.

[ huh. that's new.

he tenses a little without really meaning to, and he immediately hates himself for it. he's always completely comfortable with Erwin, and it's not like it was at all unpleasant, but... well.

he has some shit to sort through. ]

So inconsiderate.

[ —but he tries to play it off, even though he knows he doesn't need to. it's a bad habit. ]

[ the thing is, erwin immediately notices how levi tenses so he changes directions: he kisses his jaw once, then the corner of his mouth. they're light, barely there.

he's not treating him with kid gloves, but he's steering himself away from making levi uncomfortable (or upset with himself for getting uncomfortable). ]

Aren't I always?

[ he tucks in against his hair and inhales, then mutters into it: ]

You smell good.

[ that's probably kind of weird, but whatever. ]

[ of course he smells good. he smells like... soap. always. and then maybe a little like whatever Erwin smells like at the time. he's nothing if not predictable. ]

I do?

[ he doesn't seem weirded out by it. it's almost like Erwin could say basically any possible combination of words and he'd be like wow, that's such a smart and cool thing to say, you are a genius.

actually, now that he mentions it... ]

...You do, too.

[ and if that's weird, then maybe they're both just weird. ]

Mmhm.

[ he smiles against his hair before pulling back just enough to be able to look at him. there's an indescribable fondness in his gaze as he touches his face, like he's using the moment to memorize every inch. ]

Sometimes I felt like the smell of blood overwhelmed anything else I could do.

[ he means metaphorically. he sighs. ]

Sometimes I still do.

[ he rests his chin on levi's head lightly, eyes closing. ]

So I'm glad.

[ he's just gonna casually take a moment to set his own tea aside as well. there are more important things going on. things he should probably have both hands for.

he shakes his head, just a little so Erwin doesn't have to move his. ]

You think I'd let you walk around smelling like blood?

[ it's a smartass statement, but not a smartass tone. it almost sounds... affectionate. wow. ]

[ this is nice. he likes this. it's comforting as well, just being in each other's presence. he can't get enough of it.

it's a bit like syncing without even trying, isn't it? they're just so compatible. ]

That's true. You wouldn't.

[ there's a smile in his tone. he kisses the top of levi's head. ]

There's nothing to be done for it, you have to keep me in line.

You sure it's not the other way around?

[ or maybe it's both? it doesn't seem like Erwin needs anyone for that, but he knows better. most people only know Erwin the commander, but this is Erwin the man. most people don't know the latter even exists.

he does, though.

even standing on his toes, the best he can do is kiss Erwin's jaw. it's the only time he ever really resents being so small. ]

I'll see what I can do.

It can be both.

[ levi knows erwin the man better than anyone else alive, and it's going to stay that way. even in his recent venture onto the network, no one knows the vulnerable answers came from him. he keeps that close to his heart, the knowledge that only levi knows this softness.

it's good this way.

the kiss makes him smile and he tips down to steal a kiss from his mouth. if levi can't reach, erwin will bend to meet him halfway. ]

I have faith in your abilities.

[ it's true. even if he paid attention to the network, like, ever, he wouldn't have answered the post. the hell if he knows what the proper way to show devotion is. he only knows how he does it, and that's nobody's business but theirs.

so there.

he's starting to worry a little about Erwin's back, having to stoop down so low all the time. stuff like this is so much harder standing up. they came in here to have tea, but that plan seems to have been abandoned already. should he even bother stepping back to drink his at this point? this is so much better.

when Erwin does lean down he reaches up to hold his face, but not for too long. he's just too goddamn short. fuck. ]

I know you do.

[ if only one of his abilities was to become normal-sized. ]

[ levi already shows his devotion enough for erwin; it's just that erwin feels like his own is never enough. he's so devoted that there's no easy way to show it.

but he'll keep doing what he's doing.

changing his body just to hold him is a big one, and no one had even suggested that.

he smiles when levi holds his face, leaning into it. he doesn't mind leaning down, though he does sense levi's frustration with it so he just smiles. ]

Let's sit again.

[ with a gesture toward the living room. ]

[ oh thank god. he was hoping Erwin would say that. he would have suggested it himself, but Erwin just made them tea (that they barely drank) so he'd feel like an ungrateful dick.

the couch works much better for him.

he still feels kind of bad when he sits back down. he hates wasting anything, even now that it's not a big deal anymore. but, as ever, if Erwin's okay with it, then so is he. it's a pretty simple philosophy, if nothing else.

as soon as Erwin joins him on the couch again, he reaches for his face again and picks up right where they left off, with more success now that he can easily reach him. but he's a little self-conscious about how quickly they came back here; he usually isn't concerned with the possibility of coming off rude, but that doesn't apply to Erwin. he looks a bit sheepish when he pulls back. ]

...Sorry.

[ he's pretty sure Erwin won't care, but he's just going to apologize anyway. he wasted tea. what a monster. ]

[ leaving the tea is an issue, isn't it?

erwin is thinking about that as they sit, as levi continues where they left off. he especially thinks about it when levi apologizes--he shakes his head, pressing a kiss to his mouth, and lets his hand cradle the side of his neck. the new one.

he doesn't say anything for a moment, considering. ]

No. Don't be sorry.

[ another moment, and then: ]

You know, I've seen people drink their tea cold with ice. About half the people at the café I was going to take you to were doing that.

[ another kiss, short but firm. ]

So we can drink it later.

[ of course erwin people-watched to see the customs that might be confusing or alien to them. but that does make this a little easier: sure, levi felt bad about leaving tea, but so did he. nothing goes to waste in their house. ]

[ tea... with ice? iced tea?? holy shit. that's madness. but he seems to consider it anyway, mostly because Erwin suggested it—though if it really is that popular at the cafe, maybe they are onto something there?

he'll have to get used to the notion of drinking tea that's cold on purpose, but at least for now, it soothes his weird anxiety about leaving theirs behind. they can just drink it later.

absolutely mind-boggling. he smiles a little anyway. ]

Okay. I think I can live with that.

[ now he can do whatever he wants and still have a clear conscience. crisis averted. Erwin is so smart. ]

[ it is weird to think of drinking tea cold on purpose, but so many people seem to like it and it keeps the waste down, so... sure. he's willing to try it, and thankfully levi is too so he doesn't have to worry overmuch about it any more.

crisis averted indeed.

levi's smile makes erwin's smile widen, like it's just an involuntary (but welcomed) response to seeing it. it makes him happy and at ease, to be frank. ]

Good.

[ he kisses him again, hand cupping his face. he's really getting a lot of use out of this hand. ]

[ admittedly, he is also enjoying Erwin having an extra hand. or... you know. the normal amount of hands. he's still in disbelief that he seems to have been Erwin's primary reason for seeking it out. he would have been more than happy with one-handed Erwin—unconditional love means it doesn't matter how many hands they have, of course—but he'd be lying if he said it wasn't kind of awesome to feel both of Erwin's hands, regardless of where they are.

fortunately, he also has two hands. they're kind of tiny, but he'd still like to afford Erwin the same privilege. if you can call it that, anyway; he still doesn't really know what he's doing, but he sure is trying. for now, he rests them on Erwin's sides.

baby steps? baby steps. ]

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