dirtdevil | noctium inbox

[ truly, it is the argument that never ends. he'll never change his mind, but someday Erwin will. he'll make sure of it. what bias??

but he'll let himself be lead to the couch, of course. ]

I didn't say you were infallible. I said it doesn't matter to me that you're not.

You're impossible.

[ but he kisses him, brief and easy. ]

I like that about you.

[ yeah, look who's talking, dude. ]

Oh, is that why you like me? Because I'm a challenge and you're an overachiever?

[ there's not really anything serious about his tone. it's almost like he's trying to cover something up with his usual mouthy bullshit.

he's not doing a very good job. ]

[ his impossibility isn't what's on the table here!!!

he snorts. ]

I like you because of who you are. Love you because of who you are.

[ he smiles, canting his head slightly. ]

There's nothing I'd change about you.

[ oh no.

he doesn't have a shitty reply for that. how could he? he still can't handle hearing Erwin say that. like, at all. so he just huffs, a little frustrated at how vulnerable he feels.

...but he also smiles in spite of himself, tiny though it may be. for someone like him, it still manages to be significant. ]

Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say.

[ he wouldn't change anything about Erwin, either. ]

[ he accepts each smile like a gift, grateful that he gets to see it.

it's so easy to get lost in appreciating it, but he brings himself down to earth to reply. ]

You trust me in everything else, so I expect you to trust me on this too.

[ he leans over to brush a kiss along his jaw ]

I didn't fall in love with you for what you're not.

[ fucking hell. does Erwin expect him to just sit here and listen to this shit? and not implode on the spot?? he's completely out of snappy comebacks. the bullshit well has finally run dry, which means all that's left is actual sincerity.

shit.

so rather than scoffing again, or brushing it off, or making some kind of dismissive, pseudo-grumpy comment, he actually looks Erwin in the eyes, one hand rising to touch his face. it's gentle—not because Erwin is fragile, but because he's the most precious thing in the world, and people like that always seem to disappear. ]

Neither did I.

[ but if he holds onto Erwin, he can't disappear, right? ]

[ implode all you want, erwin will be here to pick up the pieces and put him back together.

the sincerity is all the better for its rarity and erwin leans into the touch, eyes lidding. he looks so relaxed here, rather than his usual stoic exterior (or passionate, as the moment dictates), though levi's always been able to sense when he's stressed.

he's not stressed now by any stretch. ]

When I recruited you, I had no idea we'd end up like this, but I have no complaints.

[ he's not going anywhere. ~~unless one of them updates~~ ]

[ update to what idk what you're talking about

anyway Erwin being happy and relaxed is really all he ever wants, and he'll do... pretty much anything to make that happen. the fact that all he has to do right now is be present is just a very nice bonus. if Erwin is happy, he's happy. it's quite simple. ]

None? Even though I almost killed you?

[ twice?? ]

[ true nothing horrible ever happens to either of them

he sighs pleasantly and tips levi's chin up for a kiss, letting it linger a moment. he 'hmm's against his mouth, like he's considering it, then shakes his head. ]

But you didn't. I'm sure I'd have a grievance if you did kill me, but as it stands it's fine.

[ it really is utterly insane that he went from trying to kill Erwin (twice) to... well. this. but he won't complain either, even though the memory will haunt him forever. it wasn't Erwin's fault, after all—it was his.

but he doesn't want to think about that right now. why did he even bring it up? just to be a smartass? he frowns a little, frustrated with his own shitty personality. and Erwin puts up with this? ]

I can't say I know what the hell you saw in me back then, but... I'm lucky you did. Who knows where I'd be right now if you didn't.

[ he knows exactly where he'd be, actually. ]

I knew what you were.

[ he says it softly, but evenly. he's got conviction in this, and won't take any arguing on the matter.

levi can try, but he won't win.

erwin enjoys levi's shitty personality, to be honest. it's always clear where levi stands, which is important to him. ]

Knew what you could become.

[ he cradles his face in both hands (both! imagine!) and lets him see the smile. ]

You haven't let me down.

[ both hands. two of them. all two of them. it's still weird, but the kind of weird that he's quite ready to get used to. he reaches up again to cover Erwin's brand new right hand with his own, much older hand. it's almost like Erwin was never horrifically mangled and on the brink of death in the first place.

...ah, there's the overwhelming feeling of dread again. he pushes it down once more, gripping Erwin's hand a little tighter like he's trying to hang onto the here and now. he turns his face to kiss his palm. it doesn't feel artificial at all. ]

Hopefully I never will.

[ it's something erwin is going to have to get used to, too: he got so used to existing with one arm that to have both again is sudden and disorienting.

that didn't stop him from immediately using it to touch levi, though. his fingers curl slightly at the kiss and then straighten again, hand shifting just enough to brush his thumb across his lips. gentle, affectionate.

he shakes his head. ]

I have faith that you won't.

[ well, he can't not smile at that, too. if Erwin has faith in him, and Erwin is always right, then it follows that he'll never disappoint him, right?

what a relief. ]

Maybe we're both biased.

I see no reason not to be.

[ see? no chance to argue, by levi's own logic. the perfect balance.

he tips his head down to press a kiss to his jaw, humming quietly as he does. ]

I was going to take you out for tea.

[ great. then they're in agreement. sort of. he's not biased, Erwin is just amazing in every way. that is his completely unbiased opinion. ]

"Was?"

[ did he ruin their date before it even started? impressive. ]

[ it's so good to agree on things. they both put each other on pedestals. it's where they belong. gross.

he flexes his fingers a little, showing both his hands. ]

I'm going to make you some instead.

[ disgusting.

his eyes actually light up. he was excited about tea already because he's a fucking loser, but... tea made by Erwin? for him?

be still his fucking heart. he smiles. like, actually smiles. ]

That sounds even better.

Good.

[ he kisses him again, then stands. ]

Come with me.

[ he brushes a hand over levi's hair before heading toward the kitchen. he hasn't been able to do much in the kitchen with one arm, but he's watched levi make the tea enough times that he knows what he's doing.

isn't that so like him? to just learn by watching. no instruction needed.

anyway he puts the kettle on before starting to get everything else out. ]

I think there are some new blends at the café I passed though, maybe we should pick some up.

[ wow, look at this multitalented mf readjusting to having two arms even quicker than he adjusted to having one. he's so smart and handsome and tall and alive.

swoon.

he watches Erwin make it exactly the same way he does, and it legitimately warms his heart. ]

Oh? Sounds good. They're so spoiled here with all this variety.

[ considering tea at home is often just hot water with one leaf in it. they've really got it good here. ]

[ he hums in agreement, and when the tea is ready he pours two cups of it and hands one to levi. there is some stiffness in the new arm, or at least a little bit of being unsure, but he manages well enough. it'll get better as time passes.

once that's done, he leans on the counter and frowns briefly. ]

Sometimes the excess here still surprises me. I've never seen anything like it and it just keeps coming.

[ they have a fully stocked kitchen. that never happens. ]

[ he offers Erwin a little smile as thanks, taking the cup in his usual stupid way, hand over the top. he'll drink it, of course, but he doesn't need to to know it's good. because Erwin made it. Erwin could have completely forgotten to put anything in the water and he wouldn't even notice. it'd still be the best tea he's ever tasted.

anyway. ]

It's definitely jarring. I don't know if it's this place being overkill or home being a shithole. Maybe it's a little of both.

[ a pause, and he frowns to himself. actually... ]

...It feels so easy, but if you weren't here I'd be pretty fucked.

[ or not fucked, as the case may be. ]

[ it's good that erwin learned how to make proper tea from watching levi, because handing levi a cup of hot water would have been an embarrassment.

honestly. ]

I think it's both.

[ he takes a slow drink of the tea, watching levi a moment, then frowns again. he's not upset, just thoughtful, and his free hand grips the edge of the counter briefly. ]

I'd feel lost without you here as well. We were lucky.

[ lucky doesn't even begin to cover it, but rather than voice what's probably obvious, he just takes a sip of tea.

hmmmm... yep, definitely the best tea he's ever tasted. much better than anything he would have had brewed by a rando at a cafe. (though he does still want to go to the cafe.) ]

Even then, I'd still be in the same position if you weren't...

[ uhhhh. is there a non-awkward way to finish that sentence? he just kind of trails off. he's gotta start thinking more before he opens his mouth. ]

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