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[dirtdevil]

« levi » TEXT ✧ AUDIO ✧ VIDEO ✧ ACTION Levi Ackerman ✦ Attack on Titan
RESIDENCE ✦ 123 Fuck You St., in the Leave Me Alone district (tba)
GEMBOND ✦ Amethyst

(there is no blurb)

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[theomachy]

[ erwin is quiet for a long time. again. he's processing the span of a year, of the thought of levi being without him for that long with everything they know now, just how much they mean to each other. it's difficult to fathom. erwin doesn't know if he could handle a year without levi now; he was practically a ghost for the short period of time he waited wondering if levi would ever return to noctium.

his eyes are closed and his forehead is still pressed to levi's, quiet and grounding. when he does speak it sounds almost strained. ]

But that was a year of you alone.

[ not literally: obviously the rest of the survey corps was there, but without erwin. it feels alone in a crowd of people without levi there next to him, and he can only assume that it's the same for levi. he sighs and noses into the crook of levi's neck, eyes remaining closed. ]

We're both here now.

[dirtdevil]

[ now.

he doesn't repeat it, but the word feels so bittersweet. Erwin's right: they're here now, and he couldn't be more grateful. but he never thought they'd be here for the rest of their lives; the assumption was always that one day they'll go home, and when they do—

no. he can't go there. not literally, and not figuratively. he leans his face against Erwin's, and just keeps it there, tightening his hold on him.

eventually, he speaks up again. ]

I'm gonna— [ ugh, his voice sounds shitty. he swallows and then continues. ] I won't take any of this for granted. I didn't even—

[ fuck. the thought comes out of his mouth before he even has a chance to think about it. ]

I never told you.

[ so much for living without regrets. ]

[theomachy]

[ the one thing erwin doesn't want to think about is going home. he knows it's possible because it's obviously happened to them, but now there's nothing left for him there so the prospect is daunting. do things just end if he leaves this place? there's no way he can just come back. that's not how the real world works, and while he doesn't regret levi's decision in the moment he does regret that it means if levi ever goes home again, that's that. he'll go back to a world without erwin and he won't remember what they have (had) here.

it makes him feel a little hollow, in fact.

he listens to what levi has to say and it makes him feel even more hollow.

this really is the only place for them.

he sighs, touching levi's face with his hand before settling it at his side again.

he may as well make his own confession. ]

I never told you either.

[dirtdevil]

[ he shakes his head. it's not that he doesn't believe it—he knows it's true, because he was there at Erwin's side during his final moments, and even for awhile after. neither of them said it. but being brought here has given them the time and the opportunity to do things differently; to act upon their feelings, and to say what they never got to say.

so he's going to make up for it.

he moves his hands up to cradle Erwin's face, and finally looks him in the eyes. he probably looks like complete shit at this point, but this is important. ]

I love you.

[ it's just a reminder now, but it will always bear repeating. ]

[theomachy]

[ it was never the right moment back home. it never would have been. that's why this place feels like a blessing more often than not. he knows most people want to go home, but erwin has nothing left at home and knows that he's never going to get what he has so readily here.

when levi cradles his face he leans into it easily, eyes lidded and gaze almost a little cautious. but when levi speaks next, he smiles and it's like the sun coming out from behind a cloud cover. ]

I love you too.

[dirtdevil]

[ in spite of everything, he smiles back. it's something faint and sad, but it's a smile nonetheless.

his hand drops down to grasp the one Erwin has left. ]

Just stay with me for awhile.

[ it feels almost childish to say, but it's what he needs. ]

[theomachy]

[ a smile is still something, even if it is faint and sad. he'll take it.

his hand turns in levi's, threading their fingers, and he nods. ]

As long as you need.

[ even if it's forever. ]

[dirtdevil]

[ forever, huh? that would be ideal.

he just stands there quietly holding Erwin's hand for a few moments. what the hell is he supposed to do now? eventually he decides that taking advantage of every second they have together is the only way to keep going.

so he leads Erwin over to their couch and motions for him to lie down and just curls up next to him, face buried in his chest. if it's up to him, they're gonna be there for awhile. ]

[theomachy]

[ erwin says nothing more; there's nothing more to say so he figures silence is fine.

he's malleable and indulgent as he moves to the couch to lay down, settling in such a way that levi can fit comfortably with him. he's used to using one arm again and curls it around levi's back, hand planting flat at the small of it as he tucks his head in down against levi's where it's buried.

it hurts his neck a little, but he doesn't care.

what matters is the fact that they're here now, together, and that's enough for now. ]