dirtdevil | noctium inbox

[ unsurprisingly, he'd wanted to tag along. it was really more of an assumption considering how rarely they've been apart here, but he could tell Erwin was intending to go alone, so he didn't even ask. given the choice, he'll always want to be wherever Erwin is, but he does trust him unconditionally, so he sucked it up and stayed behind, curled up on the floor in the fetal position in front of the door like a sad dog.

...well, maybe not the last part, but it was definitely the same kind of energy. Erwin was gone for the entire day, after all. so it's also not unlike a dog that he immediately perks up when he hears Erwin come back inside and call his name. did he say something about tea, too? holy shit. what a man.

anyway, Erwin will hear his totally angelic voice before he sees him. ]

Where the hell have you been? I've been sitting here on my ass all d—

[ when he actually sees Erwin, he freezes. his usual fake whining comes to an abrupt end—he immediately knows something is off. he's used to seeing Erwin's right sleeve down (though he also remembers it being pinned up this morning, because of course he does), but it's easy for anyone to tell that it's largely empty.

and now it isn't. ]

What...

[ he doesn't even know how to finish the sentence. his mouth just hangs open. where the hell has Erwin been? ]

[ for once in his life, erwin feels self-conscious. he shifts slightly when levi freezes, a brief discomfort filtering over him before it dissipates. he'd known this was coming when he made this decision earlier in the week and had inquired about an appointment to get looked at.

he swallows, then speaks. ]

It's a prosthetic arm. The medical care here is more than we could have ever hoped for back home.

[ he lifts his arm to showcase it, fingers curling and uncurling. ]

It's amazing. They connected it to what was left of mine and I can control it. It's almost like it was never gone, save for the scarring where it comes together.

[ at this point he pauses, looking away before looking back again. ]

I wanted to be able to hold you properly.

[ holy shit. ]

[ oh. okay.

he rarely finds himself speechless. he always has some kind of shitty comment to add, or a crude joke to make. but still nothing comes out of his mouth, even after Erwin explains. it is amazing, after all, and certainly not something even remotely possible anywhere else. frankly, it's overwhelming, and that's before he hears the reasoning behind it.

it's... stupid. so stupid. of all the reasons to seek a replacement for a missing limb—every single mundane everyday thing that became an absolute pain in the ass (or impossible) when Erwin was down to one arm—that's why he did it?

his face suddenly feels very warm. ]

...You're crazy.

[ it doesn't seem like it could be real. maybe he's the one going crazy? ]

[ it's a rare moment to find levi speechless.

erwin steps forward, using the hand he'd lost to reach up and touch levi's cheek, just the once. it feels just like skin. he seems hesitant, almost like he's afraid levi might shy away from it.

what an idiot. ]

Maybe.

[ he drops his hand back down to his side, frowning briefly before his expression smooths. ]

Do you think I shouldn't have done it?

[ ...huh. it feels just like skin from his end, too. technology is fucking awesome. but, as usual, he seems to have put his foot in his mouth. why is he so bad at this? he knows he doesn't have anything to prove to Erwin, but still...

fortunately, actions speak louder than words, even if the words in question are mostly curses and bad humor. as inept as he is in these circumstances, he knows that much is true, so he doesn't answer. he raises his own hand to cover Erwin's new one and hold it there against his face.

it really does feel real. ]

[ why had erwin bothered to ask how to prove his devotion when the answer was right here all along? levi holding the hand against him--he's still dumbfounded that he can feel with it. it must be some kind of magic, because erwin can feel levi's warmth through the pads of the new fingers.

he lifts his other hand to cradle the other side of levi's face and draw him in closer for a kiss. ]

I wanted to show you how I feel.

[ it wasn't even that long ago that feeling anyone's hand on his face was surreal. he'd barely gotten used to it, and now there are two. he never thought he'd feel either, but two hands even less so; the only person he's ever wanted only had one. he almost has to open his eyes to confirm that it's really Erwin on the other side.

but no one else would get this close to him without leaving with a black eye, so it's safe to assume it's Erwin.

he does peer up at him anyway, though, his eyes finally free of disbelief. ]

I already know how you feel. You didn't have to do this for me.

[ he's definitely not gonna complain, though. ]

[ he smiles, just a little, at that. at the way levi looks at him.

his thumbs run along levi's jawline, careful and slow, and he shakes his head. ]

I did this for both of us.

[ and he has: it's going to make life easier for both of them on top of the added bonus of being able to touch levi properly. ]

We both benefit from this.

[ he shifts to cradle his nape with one hand, the other running fingers through his hair gently. ]

It's better this way.

[ he can't exactly deny any of those things. he'd been under the impression that Erwin simply wasn't interested in doing something with his arm—he's never even complained about it. he adapted to having one arm ridiculously fast. it was actually pretty amazing. isn't Erwin amazing? no one else could have pulled that off so well. he can't be convinced otherwise.

anyway.

being touched (and enjoying being touched) is still pretty new for him. it's overwhelming, but in the best possible way. there's a shiver that runs down his spine that he does his very best to suppress, but it probably doesn't matter. Erwin sees everything. ]

Hmm. Maybe it is.

[ it's not a 'maybe.' ]

I've been doing research on it for a short while and I finally decided to go through with it. I think refusing would have been me being so stubborn that it's detrimental to both of us. It'll be easier if I can do normal things on my own, too.

[ he smiles, tucking his face in against levi's hair and sighing. ]

It'll let us enjoy the small things.

[ he lets himself smile at that, too, even if nobody sees it. ]

I had no idea. But I'm sure that's what you intended.

[ you sneaky fuck.

it's probably silly how excited he is to feel both of Erwin's arms around him, but he doesn't even care at this point. he steps in as close as he can get and wraps his arms around Erwin's chest, and just... waits. let's do this. ]

I did want it to be a surprise.

[ his hands rest at his back, rubbing up and down slowly, though he keeps resting against his head.

he sighs, closing his eyes. ]

I'll admit I was briefly worried you'd think less of me for accepting that level of help.

[ and what a hell of a surprise it is. it's something he'll have to get used to, but it's not exactly an unpleasant-sounding proposition. in fact, it's quite pleasant; he relaxes palpably, breathing out a contented-sounding sigh.

it's probably not something anyone else has ever heard. ]

Don't be stupid. There's nothing you could do that would ever make me think less of you.

[ it's very matter-of-fact, like that's just one of the basic truths of the universe. to him, it is. ]

[ wow that's so rare as to be nonexistent. he gives levi a squeeze, briefly, then shifts to lead him into the living room where they can sit on the couch. ]

Your bias is showing again. I'm not infallible, Levi.

[ which is true enough, but he knows that arguing about this is a losing battle. ]

[ truly, it is the argument that never ends. he'll never change his mind, but someday Erwin will. he'll make sure of it. what bias??

but he'll let himself be lead to the couch, of course. ]

I didn't say you were infallible. I said it doesn't matter to me that you're not.

You're impossible.

[ but he kisses him, brief and easy. ]

I like that about you.

[ yeah, look who's talking, dude. ]

Oh, is that why you like me? Because I'm a challenge and you're an overachiever?

[ there's not really anything serious about his tone. it's almost like he's trying to cover something up with his usual mouthy bullshit.

he's not doing a very good job. ]

[ his impossibility isn't what's on the table here!!!

he snorts. ]

I like you because of who you are. Love you because of who you are.

[ he smiles, canting his head slightly. ]

There's nothing I'd change about you.

[ oh no.

he doesn't have a shitty reply for that. how could he? he still can't handle hearing Erwin say that. like, at all. so he just huffs, a little frustrated at how vulnerable he feels.

...but he also smiles in spite of himself, tiny though it may be. for someone like him, it still manages to be significant. ]

Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say.

[ he wouldn't change anything about Erwin, either. ]

[ he accepts each smile like a gift, grateful that he gets to see it.

it's so easy to get lost in appreciating it, but he brings himself down to earth to reply. ]

You trust me in everything else, so I expect you to trust me on this too.

[ he leans over to brush a kiss along his jaw ]

I didn't fall in love with you for what you're not.

[ fucking hell. does Erwin expect him to just sit here and listen to this shit? and not implode on the spot?? he's completely out of snappy comebacks. the bullshit well has finally run dry, which means all that's left is actual sincerity.

shit.

so rather than scoffing again, or brushing it off, or making some kind of dismissive, pseudo-grumpy comment, he actually looks Erwin in the eyes, one hand rising to touch his face. it's gentle—not because Erwin is fragile, but because he's the most precious thing in the world, and people like that always seem to disappear. ]

Neither did I.

[ but if he holds onto Erwin, he can't disappear, right? ]

[ implode all you want, erwin will be here to pick up the pieces and put him back together.

the sincerity is all the better for its rarity and erwin leans into the touch, eyes lidding. he looks so relaxed here, rather than his usual stoic exterior (or passionate, as the moment dictates), though levi's always been able to sense when he's stressed.

he's not stressed now by any stretch. ]

When I recruited you, I had no idea we'd end up like this, but I have no complaints.

[ he's not going anywhere. ~~unless one of them updates~~ ]

[ update to what idk what you're talking about

anyway Erwin being happy and relaxed is really all he ever wants, and he'll do... pretty much anything to make that happen. the fact that all he has to do right now is be present is just a very nice bonus. if Erwin is happy, he's happy. it's quite simple. ]

None? Even though I almost killed you?

[ twice?? ]

[ true nothing horrible ever happens to either of them

he sighs pleasantly and tips levi's chin up for a kiss, letting it linger a moment. he 'hmm's against his mouth, like he's considering it, then shakes his head. ]

But you didn't. I'm sure I'd have a grievance if you did kill me, but as it stands it's fine.

[ it really is utterly insane that he went from trying to kill Erwin (twice) to... well. this. but he won't complain either, even though the memory will haunt him forever. it wasn't Erwin's fault, after all—it was his.

but he doesn't want to think about that right now. why did he even bring it up? just to be a smartass? he frowns a little, frustrated with his own shitty personality. and Erwin puts up with this? ]

I can't say I know what the hell you saw in me back then, but... I'm lucky you did. Who knows where I'd be right now if you didn't.

[ he knows exactly where he'd be, actually. ]

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