dirtdevil | noctium inbox

I knew what you were.

[ he says it softly, but evenly. he's got conviction in this, and won't take any arguing on the matter.

levi can try, but he won't win.

erwin enjoys levi's shitty personality, to be honest. it's always clear where levi stands, which is important to him. ]

Knew what you could become.

[ he cradles his face in both hands (both! imagine!) and lets him see the smile. ]

You haven't let me down.

[ both hands. two of them. all two of them. it's still weird, but the kind of weird that he's quite ready to get used to. he reaches up again to cover Erwin's brand new right hand with his own, much older hand. it's almost like Erwin was never horrifically mangled and on the brink of death in the first place.

...ah, there's the overwhelming feeling of dread again. he pushes it down once more, gripping Erwin's hand a little tighter like he's trying to hang onto the here and now. he turns his face to kiss his palm. it doesn't feel artificial at all. ]

Hopefully I never will.

[ it's something erwin is going to have to get used to, too: he got so used to existing with one arm that to have both again is sudden and disorienting.

that didn't stop him from immediately using it to touch levi, though. his fingers curl slightly at the kiss and then straighten again, hand shifting just enough to brush his thumb across his lips. gentle, affectionate.

he shakes his head. ]

I have faith that you won't.

[ well, he can't not smile at that, too. if Erwin has faith in him, and Erwin is always right, then it follows that he'll never disappoint him, right?

what a relief. ]

Maybe we're both biased.

I see no reason not to be.

[ see? no chance to argue, by levi's own logic. the perfect balance.

he tips his head down to press a kiss to his jaw, humming quietly as he does. ]

I was going to take you out for tea.

[ great. then they're in agreement. sort of. he's not biased, Erwin is just amazing in every way. that is his completely unbiased opinion. ]

"Was?"

[ did he ruin their date before it even started? impressive. ]

[ it's so good to agree on things. they both put each other on pedestals. it's where they belong. gross.

he flexes his fingers a little, showing both his hands. ]

I'm going to make you some instead.

[ disgusting.

his eyes actually light up. he was excited about tea already because he's a fucking loser, but... tea made by Erwin? for him?

be still his fucking heart. he smiles. like, actually smiles. ]

That sounds even better.

Good.

[ he kisses him again, then stands. ]

Come with me.

[ he brushes a hand over levi's hair before heading toward the kitchen. he hasn't been able to do much in the kitchen with one arm, but he's watched levi make the tea enough times that he knows what he's doing.

isn't that so like him? to just learn by watching. no instruction needed.

anyway he puts the kettle on before starting to get everything else out. ]

I think there are some new blends at the café I passed though, maybe we should pick some up.

[ wow, look at this multitalented mf readjusting to having two arms even quicker than he adjusted to having one. he's so smart and handsome and tall and alive.

swoon.

he watches Erwin make it exactly the same way he does, and it legitimately warms his heart. ]

Oh? Sounds good. They're so spoiled here with all this variety.

[ considering tea at home is often just hot water with one leaf in it. they've really got it good here. ]

[ he hums in agreement, and when the tea is ready he pours two cups of it and hands one to levi. there is some stiffness in the new arm, or at least a little bit of being unsure, but he manages well enough. it'll get better as time passes.

once that's done, he leans on the counter and frowns briefly. ]

Sometimes the excess here still surprises me. I've never seen anything like it and it just keeps coming.

[ they have a fully stocked kitchen. that never happens. ]

[ he offers Erwin a little smile as thanks, taking the cup in his usual stupid way, hand over the top. he'll drink it, of course, but he doesn't need to to know it's good. because Erwin made it. Erwin could have completely forgotten to put anything in the water and he wouldn't even notice. it'd still be the best tea he's ever tasted.

anyway. ]

It's definitely jarring. I don't know if it's this place being overkill or home being a shithole. Maybe it's a little of both.

[ a pause, and he frowns to himself. actually... ]

...It feels so easy, but if you weren't here I'd be pretty fucked.

[ or not fucked, as the case may be. ]

[ it's good that erwin learned how to make proper tea from watching levi, because handing levi a cup of hot water would have been an embarrassment.

honestly. ]

I think it's both.

[ he takes a slow drink of the tea, watching levi a moment, then frowns again. he's not upset, just thoughtful, and his free hand grips the edge of the counter briefly. ]

I'd feel lost without you here as well. We were lucky.

[ lucky doesn't even begin to cover it, but rather than voice what's probably obvious, he just takes a sip of tea.

hmmmm... yep, definitely the best tea he's ever tasted. much better than anything he would have had brewed by a rando at a cafe. (though he does still want to go to the cafe.) ]

Even then, I'd still be in the same position if you weren't...

[ uhhhh. is there a non-awkward way to finish that sentence? he just kind of trails off. he's gotta start thinking more before he opens his mouth. ]

[ no worries. they will go to the café. soon. erwin will probably buy levi a tea set while they're there. what a man.

he takes another slow sip of his tea as he watches levi, and even if there had been something else coming in addition he wouldn't have been able to say it because erwin leans forward to kiss him soundly on the mouth, like he's proving something to them both. ]

I'd be the same.

[ that's all. ]

[ okay, well, that's infinitely better than anything he could have said. he's a little dazed afterward, but it's a good kind of dazed. he really did get lucky, didn't he?

needless to say, it takes him a moment to pull his shit together. please hold. ]

I don't want to say I'm glad, but...

[ when it really comes down to it, Erwin's happiness is his number one priority. if Erwin could have been happier with someone else, it would break his heart, but he wouldn't fight it. if Erwin is happy (and safe), that's all that matters.

...but that isn't how it went down, so maybe he'll allow himself to be happy about it. fuck it. ]

No, I am glad. I can't pretend I'm not.

[ he really doesn't want to picture Erwin with somebody else. ]

You can say it if you want.

[ that he's glad, he means. erwin isn't going to argue about that of all things. in truth, he's glad as well: he feels lost without levi at his side, and just like it'd break levi's heart to see erwin with someone else, levi with someone else would have crushed a part of erwin's spirit.

they're so similar in this way: he'd have been happy levi was happy, but he'd never be content.

right now, though? he's very content.

when levi does finally admit he's glad erwin smiles and steals another kiss, humming softly. ]

So am I.

[ he may as well admit it. ]

[ were they drinking tea? he seems to have forgotten. don't get him wrong, he loves tea, but he loves Erwin a lot more. and he can't help smiling when Erwin admits he feels the same—it still feels unreal to be in this scenario, where they're allowed to be together and happy.

somehow, coming here wound up being one of the best things that have ever happened to him. ]

Good. At least I don't have to kill anybody that way.

[ he's kidding.

probably. ]

[ tea whomst. erwin shifts where he stands, thoughtful about it a moment before setting his tea aside and pulling levi in against him and holding him close. one arm around his waist, the other cradling his face.

it's intimate!!

he smiles. ]

You don't need to worry about that.

You mean they don't have to worry about it.

[ you know. the hypothetical person Erwin could have hypothetically been with instead of him. that he would hypothetically murder. them.

he still has his tea, not having expected this, but it's fine. he'll just chug it if he has to. so what if it's hot? he's the strongest person in the world. probably not this world, but it still counts.

he wouldn't even mind that it's a waste of tea. ]

Sure. They don't have to worry about it either.

[ he presses a kiss to the corner of his mouth, but he seems thoughtful as he holds him close.

but then he just presses a kiss to the side of his neck with a low hum, considering. ]

I probably should have let you finish your tea first.

[ huh. that's new.

he tenses a little without really meaning to, and he immediately hates himself for it. he's always completely comfortable with Erwin, and it's not like it was at all unpleasant, but... well.

he has some shit to sort through. ]

So inconsiderate.

[ —but he tries to play it off, even though he knows he doesn't need to. it's a bad habit. ]

[ the thing is, erwin immediately notices how levi tenses so he changes directions: he kisses his jaw once, then the corner of his mouth. they're light, barely there.

he's not treating him with kid gloves, but he's steering himself away from making levi uncomfortable (or upset with himself for getting uncomfortable). ]

Aren't I always?

[ he tucks in against his hair and inhales, then mutters into it: ]

You smell good.

[ that's probably kind of weird, but whatever. ]

[ of course he smells good. he smells like... soap. always. and then maybe a little like whatever Erwin smells like at the time. he's nothing if not predictable. ]

I do?

[ he doesn't seem weirded out by it. it's almost like Erwin could say basically any possible combination of words and he'd be like wow, that's such a smart and cool thing to say, you are a genius.

actually, now that he mentions it... ]

...You do, too.

[ and if that's weird, then maybe they're both just weird. ]

Mmhm.

[ he smiles against his hair before pulling back just enough to be able to look at him. there's an indescribable fondness in his gaze as he touches his face, like he's using the moment to memorize every inch. ]

Sometimes I felt like the smell of blood overwhelmed anything else I could do.

[ he means metaphorically. he sighs. ]

Sometimes I still do.

[ he rests his chin on levi's head lightly, eyes closing. ]

So I'm glad.

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