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Entry tags:
douche minutiae
in progress forever because I'm a lazy fuck
✔ - [YES PLEASE] - Would like these first if possible!
✘ - [NO THANKS] - Please don't give these out yet.
●
Vandalized by Dio 11/12/13 never 4get
| ● ● | |||||
| ● ● | |||||
| ● Arm-wrestling (NR4.5) ● ● | |||||
| ● ● ● A messenger (NR5, 9-20) ● Meeting a certain weirdo (NR6, 27-36) ● ● A choice with a lot of regrets (NR7, 3-18) ● ● ● ● ● Choices (25, 21-29; 26, 20-25) ● ● ● Soylent green is people (51, 20-40) ● Stupid believers (53, 32-41, 45-46) ● Fun with MPs (59, 23-36, 46) ● This is (not) the end (60, 5-20) ● Ackermans (63, 29-33) ● Welcome party (64, 3-5, 10-17, 32-35) | |||||
| ● MP slugs (NR1, 19-34) ● We'll get out of this dump someday (NR2, 26-34) ● ● A hallway conversation that is not awkward in any way (NR5, 20-26) ● ● Ilse's notebook (18.5, 4-18) ● ● The 57th expedition (21, 32-38) ● ● Spoonman pt. 2 (26, 11-19) ● Refuel order (28, 2-7) ✘ ● Road trip (37, 1-19) ● ● Squad 2.0, Nick is dead lol (51, 2-10, 23-29) ● Historia's emo backstory (51, 33-46) ● ● The power of cosplay (54, 15-25) ● Three conditions (54, 26-35) ● Great success (61, 43-48) ● Take me to church (62, 18-26) | |||||
| ● ● Backhand (NR3, 23-31) ● Wait shit we're actually outside (NR4, 15-19) ● ● ● "Her." (17, 10-14) ● Sonny & Bean are dead!! (20, 30-32) ● Smoke signals (24, 12-15) ● ● His ass is sticking out (53, 3-8) ● Dirty hands (59, 8-19) | |||||
● The wrong choice (NR7, 22-44) ● ● "I'm going to fucking kill you." (NR8, 17-27) ● Dead people in the forest (30, 1-3) ✘ ● The defeated (30, 36-42) ✘ ● ● " | |||||
| ● ● Two big dudes chasing him around underground (NR1, 35-43) ● Join the Survey Corps or I'll ram the MP up your ass (NR1, 36-56) ● ● ● ● Sound grenade (25, 7-20) ● Making her scream (27, 19-31) ● FT gets ate (27, 36-45) ● Childhood friend (30, 10-14) ● Playing dirty (54, 36-40; 55, 23, 28-46) ● Because I'm abnormal (56, 12-33) ● ● Anti-personnel (58, 19-24, 29-42 ● | |||||
| ● Maybe he's constipated (32, 19-33; 33, 1-2) ✘ ● Gunfire (58, 1-10) | |||||
| ● ● ● ● ● ● Smiling ✘ ● ● ● ● 3DMG for, uh, Levi (last name ever first name greatest) ✘ | |||||
memories
titans (general memory/infodump)
(click me)
So what?
+ this is an infodump, so it's just Good To Know type stuff
+ but still, absolutely disgusting
+ gtfo Cross and Liter
a bloody hand
So what?
+ turns out he's not 100% dick
+ blood aversion
+ but also, priorities. he can and will set aside his super neurotic tendencies when the situation calls for it
+ good night, sweet unnamed prince
world's strongest
suddenly, a louder voice catches your ear—your name? probably, but it's in one ear and out the other, and you forget it again immediately. you try to ignore it, but the enthusiastic yelling goes on.
"that's humanity's strongest soldier!" he cries, and you want to tape his mouth shut. he's pointing straight at you. "I heard he's worth a hundred men!"
the attention feels unpleasant, despite the high praise. you side-eye the crowd disdainfully and mutter something about how you wish they'd shut the fuck up. you hear the soldier to your right say that your fans would be disappointed to learn that you're an obsessive neat freak, and you scoff.
people, man.
Important: "Strongest" in this sense is implying "best at killing titans." It doesn't mean he can lift a semi. He is unusually strong because spoilers, but not that strong.
So what?
+ 10% luck
+ 20% skill
+ 15% concentrated power of will
+ 5% pleasure
+ 50% pain
+ 100% reason to remember the name
senpai noticed me
You and your two fellow degenerates are en route to god knows what kind of foolishness when you are accosted by a few passersby. You proceed to wreck their shit with the 3DMG that you totally did not steal from someone in the military. After putting them in their place (the floor, of course), you fly off, but not before noticing that a couple of large military dudes were watching you the whole time. One of them smiles to himself as you leave.
Shit.
So what?
+ riff raff, street rat
+ yes, he definitely used to be a ~thug~
+ this is the earliest memory he's seen so far
+ that smiling dude is later his boss
+ how the fuck
first kill
So a big, ugly motherfucker prances out of a forest... someone claims it's a "deviant" with much alarm. You're on open ground, so it makes the 3DMG a lot trickier to use. But that supply wagon is pretty goddamn important, so some dudes try to take it on. They all die. The titan starts prancing off again, and your squad pursues. You and your two friends decide to try taking it on, so you tell them to slice up its knees while you draw its attention. You launch yourself up behind it and jam both blades into the small of its back. Ouch. While it's busy flailing around in confusion, your friends jump into action, and succeed in cutting up its legs.
Meanwhile, you remove yourself from its giant ass and rocket upward, taking advantage of its loss of mobility to cut a clean slice out of the back of its neck, killing it. Your friends assert that you are awesome, and that one dude from your last shard looks quite pleased.
So what?
+ first titan kill!
+ he and his friends work really well together
+ although, if they're so good, why aren't they in any of his later shards?
+ mega bad feeling about that
+ future boss is creepin' again...
female titan captured
Kindly ignore Eren's rambling internal monologue (so annoying, it's almost like he thinks he's the main character or something, god). You, your squad, and the kid fka Galen are tearing ass through a forest on horseback, pursued by a giant, terrifying blonde woman. She is seriously like five seconds from stomping you all into a pulp. She closes in and comes uncomfortably close to grabbing on to the kid, and in that split second a man cries "fire!" (surprise, it's your boss again), and no less than ten billion wires shoot forward in every direction from behind the trees on either side. The pretty titan lady has time for one "oh shit" moment, which she uses to cover the back of her neck with both hands, and then she's trapped in a huge web of wire. Flawless victory, except for all the people she killed on the way there... and there were a lot.
At this point you tell the others you'll be splitting off to do your own thing. After giving a couple of last orders, you fuck off in the 3DMG, and reappear in a tree next to bossman. He praises you for your excellent work riding a horse in a straight line at a high speed and not dying, to which you reply that you only made it this far because many others gave their lives trying to fight that thing. But now it's time to find out who's driving it around...
(Except, back in the real world, you already know.)
So what?
+ man these dudes sure do trust him
+ man that titan sure did want Galen for some reason
+ man that sure is gonna be Pikarin in there...
+ fuck
the barracks
You and your friends are shown your new home: the Survey Corps barracks. There's shit strewn everywhere and this dude showing you around is a total d-bag and you're just generally in a cranky mood (as usual). You approach your new bunk and discover it's—god forbid—dusty, which just pisses you off even more. Then aforementioned d-bag tells you it's no big deal because you're probably used to living in a pile of trash being from the underground anyway, and your crankiness level goes critical. Fortunately your buddy steps in before you start throwing down with your superior, who then leaves. You make a few stupid comments and your friend reminds you why you're all there to begin with, and that beating the shit out of your squad leader would not be very conspicuous. Your adorable little sister-type friend chimes in with some adorable optimism, and some unspeakable cuteness ensues because she can't do math. Meanwhile your murderboner for that blonde guy intensifies...
But really none of that matters because you all need to clean the shit out of these barracks. Like, right now. Not a single speck of dust can remain.
So what?
+ problems with authority (he got better)
+ little sis feelings, fuck
+ seriously why the hell did he want to kill that guy so bad
+ at least he's less douchey than he used to be, that counts for something right??
invincible: fuck paragraphs edition
- you arrive at a run-down old castle, which despite its shittiness will probably get you through the night. probably.
- you tell your friends not to let their guard down regardless
- inside, everyone's getting set up for the night, including the three of you
- the fact that you killed your first titan today comes up and your friends praise you once again, calling you "invincible"
- with you there, they'll surely make it out alive!!
So what?
+ a dim reminder: titans can't do much at night
+ he hasn't really let his first kill get to his head, and isn't confident he could deal with more than one
+ his friends, on the other hand, have plenty of confidence in him, which means
+ deathflags, nothing but deathflags as far as the eye can see...
no regrets, for real this time
- this is it: you're finally gonna kill that guy, for real, it's happeni—
- wait no it's not. dude fucking grabs the blade with his bare hand to keep it away from his neck. super metal.
- he poses an interesting question about the deaths of your friends. was it his fault? was it your fault?
- you finally realize that, yeah, it was kinda your fault. you are a cocky piece of shit who made the wrong choice, and start to say as much
- but then, surprisingly he claims you're wrong: it's the titans, bro!!
- insert inspirational yelling about freedom and shit
- so then he's like, hey, would you rather go back to being king of shit mountain or would you rather lend me your strength and fight for humanity??
- you have a weird manga epiphany moment and finally make a good decision. ~fin~
So what?
+ confirmation: Farlan and Isabel are deeeeead, and so's the rest of the squad. boo.
+ this is the moment where he went from being preoccupied with killing (Erwin) to becoming probably his most devoted follower.
+ what a weirdo
+ though he heard a summary of these events, experiencing them in his own shard affects him a lot more
+ 5000 loyalty points for new Vanara guy
- 1000000 confusion points
vs. female titan
- a very large lady is being distracted by a very normal-sized lady, but in the meantime surprise! you're right behind her!!
- she throws a punch at you, which you both dodge and use to your advantage because you're an overpowered shithead
- cue some gas-propelled nonsense, sending you spinning up and around her arm, slicing as you go
- while she's busy going "what the fuuuuck" you spring forward and jam your blades into her eyeballs! haha, gross
- with her vision gone, you take the opportunity to do some more very rapid slicing at strategic points on her legs, and she falls to the ground, protecting the back of her neck with her hands
- normal-sized girl watches in awe (or something) as you then proceed to do the same to her arms, causing them to drop as well
- ...which leaves her nape momentarily exposed, and the girl goes for it, trying to kill her
- except this was clearly not the goal, because you scream at her to stop; the titan has already regained use of an arm, and she uses it to attempt to swat the girl away, hard
- buuut you come to the rescue, pushing the girl down and away, taking a hit to your leg in the process
- at this point you fire yourself into the titan's cheek, cutting your way through and flying out the other side. what the fuck, right?
- but then as her jaw falls open it becomes clear when a very unconscious, very slimy kid comes sliding out of her mouth. hot damn, it's (the dumbass formerly known as) Galen!
- you grab him and get the fuck out of there, yelling at the girl to do the same. she looks elated to see the kid's alive
- as you fly off to (relative) safety, you remind her that their goal isn't to kill the female titan, but to rescue slimy kid; after all, isn't he her ~precious friend~?
- looking back, you see that the titan's eyes have regenerated, and as she sits slumped against a tree exhausted, she appears to be... crying?
So what?
+ lmao
i'll break ur fukken legs m8
- blah blah some shit about Eren (fka Galen)'s father, the context of which you know nothing about so ???
- apparently he was a titan shifter and is also dead
- some stuff about the Reiss family, which is yet another thing you know jack shit about as of yet
- they need to find out what's in Eren's family's basement because it is Important (probably)
- except of course the house is in Shiganshina, in Wall Maria territory, where your good friends Cross and Liter first busted up the wall
- Erwin (fka Odysseus) muses about what he thinks is in the basement and says something about the king erasing people's memories (???)
- but hey, let's just go see for ourselves, it's not like it'll be dangerous or anything! we start in 2 days!!
- he then dismisses everyone, but you stay behind, closing the door behind the others. you need to talk some sense into this fucker.
- you assert that Erwin is more likely to be titan bait than an asset to the fight, what with the... missing right arm...
- wait when the fuck did he lose an arm?? holy shit
- you just really want him to stay behind because you know he will probably not make it out of this operation alive
- buuuut Erwin refuses, because he's a stubborn ass and he doesn't care if he ends up being bait
- you threaten to break both his legs so he can't go, no joke
- he laughs it off. when they find out the truth about their world, he wants to be there to see it himself. it's his dream.
- you ask if his dream is more important than his legs (yep) and more important than humanity winning (apparently)
- you are thus defeated. you tell Erwin you'll believe in his decision, and leave the room.
So what?
+ he really, really does not want Erwin to die
+ Erwin lost most of his right arm at some point, making his participation in this mission even more dangerous
+ Erwin values his dream over his own life, which is not really a surprise
+ 5000 more loyalty points
+ 10 billion deathflags for Erwin (which is not okay)
stars
- you're out on the edge of a building at night, sitting alone looking at the stars, mulling over something your friend said
- suddenly you hear the voices of your two friends from behind, bemoaning that you went off on your own
- you blame it on them for being too noisy, but you know that's not the real reason. the girl, Isabel, brought booze.
- she and the other man, Farlan, muse about the stars going around in the sky. you remark that it's been awhile since you've seen the stars like this.
- suddenly, you tell Farlan you've decided not to kill "him" now, and that you'll trust him. Farlan looks pleased, and Isabel chimes in that she'll trust him too.
So what?
+ at this point, he already knows Farlan and Isabel are dead, though he hasn't seen it for himself, so this memory is bittersweet
+ the "him" he referred to was Erwin—he must have been planning to kill him early on
+ 100 awkward points considering his relationship with Erwin now
+ 500000000 manpain points due to dead friends
hugeass trees
- you're in that stupid goddamn forest again... actually, it looks like you've just arrived
- your squad just follows without question but Eren is like, yo what the fuck are we doing I thought we were protecting the wagons
- you tell him that obviously those plans went out the window, and that he should kindly take a look at the notably large trees surrounding them - in your own words, of course
- it's the perfect place to use the 3DMG!
- which is good because something's coming
- guess who??
So what?
+ 5000 amazing leadership skills, obviously
dead people in the rain
- this memory wastes no time: you're in the middle of a titan battle
- except for some reason you're slicing this one's belly open, even though you know that won't kill it
- ...a hand reaches out from inside the titan's stomach. this is is not looking good
- you reach for it and pull, and out comes your friend Farlan... or the top half of him, at least. dead. you take a moment to lay his body on the ground before turning around to face four titans coming at you at once
- you start off by taking out the first one's eyes, and then take down the other three one after the other. once they're dead, you turn back to the first and start talking to it, asking if humans taste good. of course there's no answer, so you kill this one, too
- as you step off its steaming body, something catches your eye...
- ...it's a head. like, a human one. your friend Isabel's.
- overcome with grief and rage, you kneel down and close her eyelids.
- a voice calls out, asking if there are any survivors, and the memory ends
So what?
+ fuck
+ he already knew Farlan and Isabel were dead, but he hadn't... seen their bodies yet
+ 5,000 need to protect certain people
Isabel gets it
- remember your two friends you just saw dead? they're alive again in this one. you're getting ready to go to sleep and discussing your ~plans~
- Farlan thinks you should forget about trying to get the documents while you're outside the walls on the expedition because you'd probably be noticed breaking the formation (and you also should probably concentrate on not dying)
- Isabel agrees, but also says she doesn't want to get in anyone's way, which surprises Farlan, but she goes on to explain that they used to dream of leaving the underground and that's not that different from the Survey Corps' expeditions
- she goes on to tell you that she hopes they can keep going out and fighting... and then says if they all end up living in the capital someday they can steal from the people there. serves 'em right!!
So what?
+ Isabel seems to kinda understand what the SC is all about, even if she's still in it for the same reasons she was in the beginning (getting the fuck out of the underground)
+ obviously the whole "not breaking the formation and dying" thing didn't work out in the end
+ 500000 little sister manpain
the air we breathe, it smells like shit
- experimentation happened and Eren can't harden his titan body
- which means your awesome plan to retake Wall Maria is not currently possible
- you complain about it using your amazingly thoughtful and creative language, talking about how everything's shit inside the walls but outside is freedom!!!!1
- weird glasses lady translates your bullshit into regular people words for Eren: let's keep trying our best!!
So what?
+ haha, Eren can't get hard
babysitting nick
"she's dead."
+ confirmation that his mom is dead
+ his mom worked in a brothel, and he lived in there with her
+ when she died he almost died of starvation, too
+ that one asshole who was trying to kill him is also the one that saved him???
+ ??????
+ he also taught him how to knife people
+ this is just awful
skills
hand-to-hand/knife combat (basic - advanced)
Current Epona beating count: i lost count tbh
3DMG stuff