douche minutiae

[dirtdevil]

in progress forever because I'm a lazy fuck
✔ - [YES PLEASE] - Would like these first if possible!
✘ - [NO THANKS] - Please don't give these out yet.
● Obtained
Vandalized by Dio 11/12/13 never 4get

Significant Positive
● First time outside the walls aka Not Bad #1 (NR 4, 4-14) ● First kill (NR4, 24-42)
Neutral Positive
● Stars (NR2, 34-38) ● Female titan captured (23, 25-42)
Trivial Positive
● Arm-wrestling (NR4.5) ● Invincible (NR5, 5-8) ● Cleaning the SC base with his squad (17, 3-9)
Significant Neutral
● Senpai noticed me ● Shoujo prequel squad introducing themselves (feat. real first name!!) (NR3, 4-7) ● A messenger (NR5, 9-20) ● Meeting a certain weirdo (NR6, 27-36) ● World's Strongest ● A choice with a lot of regrets (NR7, 3-18) ● No regrets, for real this time (NR8, 28-41) ● Finding some kid who can turn into a titan and saving his ass ● Then savagely beating him in front of a full courtroom lol whoops (19, 28-60) ● Murder Them Titans aka Not Bad #2 (18, 34-40) ● Choices (25, 21-29; 26, 20-25) ● SPOONMAAAAN (25, 34-43; 26, 1-10) ● vs. female titan (30, 15-32) ● Soylent green is people (51, 20-40) ● Stupid believers (53, 32-41, 45-46) ● Fun with MPs (59, 23-36, 46) ● This is (not) the end (60, 5-20) ● Ackermans (63, 29-33) ● Welcome party (64, 3-5, 10-17, 32-35)
Neutral Neutral
● MP slugs (NR1, 19-34) ● We'll get out of this dump someday (NR2, 26-34) ● The barracks (NR3, 8-16) ● A hallway conversation that is not awkward in any way (NR5, 20-26) ● Isabel gets it (NR6, 13-19) ● Ilse's notebook (18.5, 4-18) ● Do u hate me (circle yes or no) (19, 61-63) ● The 57th expedition (21, 32-38) ● Like a damned lizard (25, 30-33) ● Spoonman pt. 2 (26, 11-19) ● Refuel order (28, 2-7) ✘ ● Road trip (37, 1-19) ● Babysitting Nick (37, 20-30) ● Squad 2.0, Nick is dead lol (51, 2-10, 23-29) ● Historia's emo backstory (51, 33-46) ● The air we breathe, it smells like shit (53, 9-22) ● The power of cosplay (54, 15-25) ● Three conditions (54, 26-35) ● Great success (61, 43-48) ● Take me to church (62, 18-26)
Neutral Trivial
● A "shitty" sense of humor ● Backhand (NR3, 23-31) ● Wait shit we're actually outside (NR4, 15-19) ● Getting schooled on the formation (NR6, 3-12) ● Erwin is smart (but I'm still totally gonna kill him) (NR6, 21-32) ● "Her." (17, 10-14) ● Sonny & Bean are dead!! (20, 30-32) ● Smoke signals (24, 12-15) ● Hot titan date (45, 12-16) ● His ass is sticking out (53, 3-8) ● Dirty hands (59, 8-19)
Significant Negative
● The wrong choice (NR7, 22-44) ● Dead people in the rain (NR8, 4-16) ● "I'm going to fucking kill you." (NR8, 17-27) ● Dead people in the forest (30, 1-3) ✘ ● The defeated (30, 36-42) ✘ ● Heeeeere's Kenny! (57, 35-46) ● "She's dead." (69)
Neutral Negative
● Titans (general memory) ● Two big dudes chasing him around underground (NR1, 35-43) ● Join the Survey Corps or I'll ram the MP up your ass (NR1, 36-56) ● A bloody outstretched hand and a dying man asking if he was "useful" ● A girl in a crystal (34, 33) ● Huge-ass trees (24, 38-43) ● Sound grenade (25, 7-20) ● Making her scream (27, 19-31) ● FT gets ate (27, 36-45) ● Childhood friend (30, 10-14) ● Playing dirty (54, 36-40; 55, 23, 28-46) ● Because I'm abnormal (56, 12-33) ● Showdown at the Old Saloon (58, 11-18) ● Anti-personnel (58, 19-24, 29-42 ● I'll break ur fukken legs m8 (72, 2-17)
Trivial Negative
● Maybe he's constipated (32, 19-33; 33, 1-2) ✘ ● Gunfire (58, 1-10)
Skills
● Basic hand-to-hand/knife combat ● Intermediate hand-to-hand/knife combat ● Advanced hand-to-hand/knife combat ● Horseback riding ● Shitty flintlock guns ● Smiling ✘ ● 3DMG for dummies (basic usage, balance, titan combat/avoidance) ● 3DMG for training grads (not bad, but probably still gonna get eaten) ● 3DMG for Survey Corps survivors (pretty legit) ● 3DMG for, uh, Levi (last name ever first name greatest) ✘

Comments

vs. female titan

[dirtdevil]

thru pg. 32

- a very large lady is being distracted by a very normal-sized lady, but in the meantime surprise! you're right behind her!!
- she throws a punch at you, which you both dodge and use to your advantage because you're an overpowered shithead
- cue some gas-propelled nonsense, sending you spinning up and around her arm, slicing as you go
- while she's busy going "what the fuuuuck" you spring forward and jam your blades into her eyeballs! haha, gross
- with her vision gone, you take the opportunity to do some more very rapid slicing at strategic points on her legs, and she falls to the ground, protecting the back of her neck with her hands
- normal-sized girl watches in awe (or something) as you then proceed to do the same to her arms, causing them to drop as well
- ...which leaves her nape momentarily exposed, and the girl goes for it, trying to kill her
- except this was clearly not the goal, because you scream at her to stop; the titan has already regained use of an arm, and she uses it to attempt to swat the girl away, hard
- buuut you come to the rescue, pushing the girl down and away, taking a hit to your leg in the process
- at this point you fire yourself into the titan's cheek, cutting your way through and flying out the other side. what the fuck, right?
- but then as her jaw falls open it becomes clear when a very unconscious, very slimy kid comes sliding out of her mouth. hot damn, it's (the dumbass formerly known as) Galen!
- you grab him and get the fuck out of there, yelling at the girl to do the same. she looks elated to see the kid's alive
- as you fly off to (relative) safety, you remind her that their goal isn't to kill the female titan, but to rescue slimy kid; after all, isn't he her ~precious friend~?
- looking back, you see that the titan's eyes have regenerated, and as she sits slumped against a tree exhausted, she appears to be... crying?

So what?
+ lmao