douche minutiae

[dirtdevil]

in progress forever because I'm a lazy fuck
✔ - [YES PLEASE] - Would like these first if possible!
✘ - [NO THANKS] - Please don't give these out yet.
● Obtained
Vandalized by Dio 11/12/13 never 4get

Significant Positive
● First time outside the walls aka Not Bad #1 (NR 4, 4-14) ● First kill (NR4, 24-42)
Neutral Positive
● Stars (NR2, 34-38) ● Female titan captured (23, 25-42)
Trivial Positive
● Arm-wrestling (NR4.5) ● Invincible (NR5, 5-8) ● Cleaning the SC base with his squad (17, 3-9)
Significant Neutral
● Senpai noticed me ● Shoujo prequel squad introducing themselves (feat. real first name!!) (NR3, 4-7) ● A messenger (NR5, 9-20) ● Meeting a certain weirdo (NR6, 27-36) ● World's Strongest ● A choice with a lot of regrets (NR7, 3-18) ● No regrets, for real this time (NR8, 28-41) ● Finding some kid who can turn into a titan and saving his ass ● Then savagely beating him in front of a full courtroom lol whoops (19, 28-60) ● Murder Them Titans aka Not Bad #2 (18, 34-40) ● Choices (25, 21-29; 26, 20-25) ● SPOONMAAAAN (25, 34-43; 26, 1-10) ● vs. female titan (30, 15-32) ● Soylent green is people (51, 20-40) ● Stupid believers (53, 32-41, 45-46) ● Fun with MPs (59, 23-36, 46) ● This is (not) the end (60, 5-20) ● Ackermans (63, 29-33) ● Welcome party (64, 3-5, 10-17, 32-35)
Neutral Neutral
● MP slugs (NR1, 19-34) ● We'll get out of this dump someday (NR2, 26-34) ● The barracks (NR3, 8-16) ● A hallway conversation that is not awkward in any way (NR5, 20-26) ● Isabel gets it (NR6, 13-19) ● Ilse's notebook (18.5, 4-18) ● Do u hate me (circle yes or no) (19, 61-63) ● The 57th expedition (21, 32-38) ● Like a damned lizard (25, 30-33) ● Spoonman pt. 2 (26, 11-19) ● Refuel order (28, 2-7) ✘ ● Road trip (37, 1-19) ● Babysitting Nick (37, 20-30) ● Squad 2.0, Nick is dead lol (51, 2-10, 23-29) ● Historia's emo backstory (51, 33-46) ● The air we breathe, it smells like shit (53, 9-22) ● The power of cosplay (54, 15-25) ● Three conditions (54, 26-35) ● Great success (61, 43-48) ● Take me to church (62, 18-26)
Neutral Trivial
● A "shitty" sense of humor ● Backhand (NR3, 23-31) ● Wait shit we're actually outside (NR4, 15-19) ● Getting schooled on the formation (NR6, 3-12) ● Erwin is smart (but I'm still totally gonna kill him) (NR6, 21-32) ● "Her." (17, 10-14) ● Sonny & Bean are dead!! (20, 30-32) ● Smoke signals (24, 12-15) ● Hot titan date (45, 12-16) ● His ass is sticking out (53, 3-8) ● Dirty hands (59, 8-19)
Significant Negative
● The wrong choice (NR7, 22-44) ● Dead people in the rain (NR8, 4-16) ● "I'm going to fucking kill you." (NR8, 17-27) ● Dead people in the forest (30, 1-3) ✘ ● The defeated (30, 36-42) ✘ ● Heeeeere's Kenny! (57, 35-46) ● "She's dead." (69)
Neutral Negative
● Titans (general memory) ● Two big dudes chasing him around underground (NR1, 35-43) ● Join the Survey Corps or I'll ram the MP up your ass (NR1, 36-56) ● A bloody outstretched hand and a dying man asking if he was "useful" ● A girl in a crystal (34, 33) ● Huge-ass trees (24, 38-43) ● Sound grenade (25, 7-20) ● Making her scream (27, 19-31) ● FT gets ate (27, 36-45) ● Childhood friend (30, 10-14) ● Playing dirty (54, 36-40; 55, 23, 28-46) ● Because I'm abnormal (56, 12-33) ● Showdown at the Old Saloon (58, 11-18) ● Anti-personnel (58, 19-24, 29-42 ● I'll break ur fukken legs m8 (72, 2-17)
Trivial Negative
● Maybe he's constipated (32, 19-33; 33, 1-2) ✘ ● Gunfire (58, 1-10)
Skills
● Basic hand-to-hand/knife combat ● Intermediate hand-to-hand/knife combat ● Advanced hand-to-hand/knife combat ● Horseback riding ● Shitty flintlock guns ● Smiling ✘ ● 3DMG for dummies (basic usage, balance, titan combat/avoidance) ● 3DMG for training grads (not bad, but probably still gonna get eaten) ● 3DMG for Survey Corps survivors (pretty legit) ● 3DMG for, uh, Levi (last name ever first name greatest) ✘

Comments

the barracks

[dirtdevil]

thru pg. 16

You and your friends are shown your new home: the Survey Corps barracks. There's shit strewn everywhere and this dude showing you around is a total d-bag and you're just generally in a cranky mood (as usual). You approach your new bunk and discover it's—god forbid—dusty, which just pisses you off even more. Then aforementioned d-bag tells you it's no big deal because you're probably used to living in a pile of trash being from the underground anyway, and your crankiness level goes critical. Fortunately your buddy steps in before you start throwing down with your superior, who then leaves. You make a few stupid comments and your friend reminds you why you're all there to begin with, and that beating the shit out of your squad leader would not be very conspicuous. Your adorable little sister-type friend chimes in with some adorable optimism, and some unspeakable cuteness ensues because she can't do math. Meanwhile your murderboner for that blonde guy intensifies...

But really none of that matters because you all need to clean the shit out of these barracks. Like, right now. Not a single speck of dust can remain.

So what?
+ problems with authority (he got better)
+ little sis feelings, fuck
+ seriously why the hell did he want to kill that guy so bad
+ at least he's less douchey than he used to be, that counts for something right??