douche minutiae

[dirtdevil]

in progress forever because I'm a lazy fuck
✔ - [YES PLEASE] - Would like these first if possible!
✘ - [NO THANKS] - Please don't give these out yet.
● Obtained
Vandalized by Dio 11/12/13 never 4get

Significant Positive
● First time outside the walls aka Not Bad #1 (NR 4, 4-14) ● First kill (NR4, 24-42)
Neutral Positive
● Stars (NR2, 34-38) ● Female titan captured (23, 25-42)
Trivial Positive
● Arm-wrestling (NR4.5) ● Invincible (NR5, 5-8) ● Cleaning the SC base with his squad (17, 3-9)
Significant Neutral
● Senpai noticed me ● Shoujo prequel squad introducing themselves (feat. real first name!!) (NR3, 4-7) ● A messenger (NR5, 9-20) ● Meeting a certain weirdo (NR6, 27-36) ● World's Strongest ● A choice with a lot of regrets (NR7, 3-18) ● No regrets, for real this time (NR8, 28-41) ● Finding some kid who can turn into a titan and saving his ass ● Then savagely beating him in front of a full courtroom lol whoops (19, 28-60) ● Murder Them Titans aka Not Bad #2 (18, 34-40) ● Choices (25, 21-29; 26, 20-25) ● SPOONMAAAAN (25, 34-43; 26, 1-10) ● vs. female titan (30, 15-32) ● Soylent green is people (51, 20-40) ● Stupid believers (53, 32-41, 45-46) ● Fun with MPs (59, 23-36, 46) ● This is (not) the end (60, 5-20) ● Ackermans (63, 29-33) ● Welcome party (64, 3-5, 10-17, 32-35)
Neutral Neutral
● MP slugs (NR1, 19-34) ● We'll get out of this dump someday (NR2, 26-34) ● The barracks (NR3, 8-16) ● A hallway conversation that is not awkward in any way (NR5, 20-26) ● Isabel gets it (NR6, 13-19) ● Ilse's notebook (18.5, 4-18) ● Do u hate me (circle yes or no) (19, 61-63) ● The 57th expedition (21, 32-38) ● Like a damned lizard (25, 30-33) ● Spoonman pt. 2 (26, 11-19) ● Refuel order (28, 2-7) ✘ ● Road trip (37, 1-19) ● Babysitting Nick (37, 20-30) ● Squad 2.0, Nick is dead lol (51, 2-10, 23-29) ● Historia's emo backstory (51, 33-46) ● The air we breathe, it smells like shit (53, 9-22) ● The power of cosplay (54, 15-25) ● Three conditions (54, 26-35) ● Great success (61, 43-48) ● Take me to church (62, 18-26)
Neutral Trivial
● A "shitty" sense of humor ● Backhand (NR3, 23-31) ● Wait shit we're actually outside (NR4, 15-19) ● Getting schooled on the formation (NR6, 3-12) ● Erwin is smart (but I'm still totally gonna kill him) (NR6, 21-32) ● "Her." (17, 10-14) ● Sonny & Bean are dead!! (20, 30-32) ● Smoke signals (24, 12-15) ● Hot titan date (45, 12-16) ● His ass is sticking out (53, 3-8) ● Dirty hands (59, 8-19)
Significant Negative
● The wrong choice (NR7, 22-44) ● Dead people in the rain (NR8, 4-16) ● "I'm going to fucking kill you." (NR8, 17-27) ● Dead people in the forest (30, 1-3) ✘ ● The defeated (30, 36-42) ✘ ● Heeeeere's Kenny! (57, 35-46) ● "She's dead." (69)
Neutral Negative
● Titans (general memory) ● Two big dudes chasing him around underground (NR1, 35-43) ● Join the Survey Corps or I'll ram the MP up your ass (NR1, 36-56) ● A bloody outstretched hand and a dying man asking if he was "useful" ● A girl in a crystal (34, 33) ● Huge-ass trees (24, 38-43) ● Sound grenade (25, 7-20) ● Making her scream (27, 19-31) ● FT gets ate (27, 36-45) ● Childhood friend (30, 10-14) ● Playing dirty (54, 36-40; 55, 23, 28-46) ● Because I'm abnormal (56, 12-33) ● Showdown at the Old Saloon (58, 11-18) ● Anti-personnel (58, 19-24, 29-42 ● I'll break ur fukken legs m8 (72, 2-17)
Trivial Negative
● Maybe he's constipated (32, 19-33; 33, 1-2) ✘ ● Gunfire (58, 1-10)
Skills
● Basic hand-to-hand/knife combat ● Intermediate hand-to-hand/knife combat ● Advanced hand-to-hand/knife combat ● Horseback riding ● Shitty flintlock guns ● Smiling ✘ ● 3DMG for dummies (basic usage, balance, titan combat/avoidance) ● 3DMG for training grads (not bad, but probably still gonna get eaten) ● 3DMG for Survey Corps survivors (pretty legit) ● 3DMG for, uh, Levi (last name ever first name greatest) ✘

Comments

female titan captured

[dirtdevil]

thru pg. 42

Kindly ignore Eren's rambling internal monologue (so annoying, it's almost like he thinks he's the main character or something, god). You, your squad, and the kid fka Galen are tearing ass through a forest on horseback, pursued by a giant, terrifying blonde woman. She is seriously like five seconds from stomping you all into a pulp. She closes in and comes uncomfortably close to grabbing on to the kid, and in that split second a man cries "fire!" (surprise, it's your boss again), and no less than ten billion wires shoot forward in every direction from behind the trees on either side. The pretty titan lady has time for one "oh shit" moment, which she uses to cover the back of her neck with both hands, and then she's trapped in a huge web of wire. Flawless victory, except for all the people she killed on the way there... and there were a lot.

At this point you tell the others you'll be splitting off to do your own thing. After giving a couple of last orders, you fuck off in the 3DMG, and reappear in a tree next to bossman. He praises you for your excellent work riding a horse in a straight line at a high speed and not dying, to which you reply that you only made it this far because many others gave their lives trying to fight that thing. But now it's time to find out who's driving it around...

(Except, back in the real world, you already know.)

So what?
+ man these dudes sure do trust him
+ man that titan sure did want Galen for some reason
+ man that sure is gonna be Pikarin in there...
+ fuck