[ erwin thinks he should be at a part of his life where nothing makes him nervous. it's ridiculous to be nervous: they have a good thing going here and even though he feels a little crowded in his own head while he works out what memories go where, he'll get there at some point and it's only a little weirder than being taken to new worlds at all. hell, he's even got two arms here like he did there, and they're pretty sure it sticking around through the strange transition means it's permanent.
and he knows levi loves him just as much as erwin loves him, but he still feels like a teenager nervous about a first date right now just thinking about what's coming later in the day.
it really is silly, but whenever levi passes him by doing something, anything, his chest tightens more than it normally does when he sees him. it tightens even more when he can reach out with both hands to grasp levi's own as he draws the other man to where he's sitting, tugging him closer and just letting his head tip into levi's chest comfortably, eyes closed.
it's not a distressed thing despite the nervousness, but it is grounding. he uses both thumbs to rub over the backs of levi's hands just because he can. ]
[ it is a little bit weird when you wake up one morning and it feels like you just slept for a year because you dreamed for what seemed like actually fucking forever, and then you mention how weird it is to your partner only to find out the exact same shit just happened to him, and then you both have to wonder if that means it wasn't just a dream and you actually did spend almost a year together in a uniquely terrible place called Trench, and then you just give up trying to understand it because it doesn't make any fucking sense and you're not the smart one.
these things happen.
it doesn't matter that much in the long run, because they're in a better place now (in a literal sense, thankfully nobody is dead) and they still have each other despite everything that's happened in the three different places they've been together, even if two of them were shit.
it's fine. Erwin is here, and for him that means everything is fine.
when Erwin pulls him in suddenly he's confused, but he finds himself smiling anyway, gently squeezing his hands. ]
Well, most people who lose a limb don't just get it back, which you obviously already know since you're a genius or whatever. I guess that's pretty lucky.
[ even though it's strange, they're pulling through it like they always do. the point of the matter is they're together and they're going to be for the foreseeable future.
he doesn't want to think about anything past that, or anything that might change that.
it almost feels like a dream that the place they're in now is... good, especially in contrast to where they've come from and where else they've apparently been. it's a lot to deal with overall but they've ended up in the best place possible.
levi's joke makes him huff a breath and he lifts his head to look up at him from his seat, tipping up just enough to kiss him. ]
Well, I'm definitely not complaining about that part. I didn't even really think about ever being able to touch you with both hands, and now I can.
[ he doesn't blush more when levi kisses his cheek, thankfully. but he does lean into it with a low sigh, a content one that he has no trouble exhaling lately.
it's nice. it's nice like levi's smile. his hand reaches up to brush along the corner of levi's mouth while the other (the other!) settles at levi's waist, tactile and grounding. he needs the grounding right now. ]
We can both be lucky. Careful though, you'll ramp up my ego until my neck can't hold my head up for the weight of it.
[ he leans into Levi when he sits, just sort of basking in being able to do this still. it's never going to feel real, but it's not going to waste whatever time they get here together. it's a little more odd now that they know they've been elsewhere before, though. levi will probably notice those kinds of thoughts percolating in erwin's head, but he doesn't seem too worried about it at this particular moment.
no, instead there's a surge of affection when levi snorts. ]
Remember that, that you're not worried. [ smaller, quieter, with a short-lived anxious jiggle of his knee: ] You might make me see how you think about me yet.
[ he's just going to shake his head at the mere mention of Erwin's hypothetical ego. ridiculous. he won't keep scolding him about it, though; it won't work, for one thing, and it's also probably a little bit hypocritical. he doesn't have the best opinion of himself, either.
not like this, though. he's never known anyone so inwardly brutal. he hates it.
but it does give him an idea. he tucks his head in against Erwin's shoulder—he just fits there perfectly somehow. it's very convenient. ]
Maybe I can give you an ego that way. I'll just start thinking the way I want you to think about yourself. Constantly. How's that?
[ he already does this, actually. it's a flawed plan. this is why he doesn't make the plans. ]
[ when Erwin's not with him in the house, he just assumes he's in the garden. it's not much of a surprise to see he's out there again, but it is a bit of a surprise to get a message from him requesting that he come join him.
he doesn't answer, but only because he appears only a moment later, arms crossed in feigned annoyance. ]
What? Did you lose something in the dirt?
[ the (fake) bad attitude is notably absent in his voice in spite of what he's saying. he does hope that isn't actually what happened, though. he and dirt don't really get along. ]
[ he shrugs halfheartedly, like even he doesn't believe what he's saying. ]
Maybe.
[ what if Erwin had lost his wedding ring? perish the thought.
he takes Erwin's clean hand (he would have taken it even if it was dirty, don't tell anyone) and lets him lead him to whatever thing Erwin is growing at the moment. he's on the edge of his seat. ]
[ he didn't lose his wedding ring. it's right there.
erwin leads him off to a spot off to the side, where there are several different leafy/flowering plants in a dirt bed and an herb drying rack set nearby where it'll get the most sunlight. the area smells good, too, sort of like opening a bag of tea and sniffing it. there are a few little bundles on the rack drying already, but the plants still have plenty of leaves on them.
it takes him a moment to process what's happening. he never had the opportunity to (attempt to) grow his own tea, and even here it never really crossed his mind. how did he not think of this?
oh, well. Erwin's the smart one, as ever.
the smell of tea is what clues him in first. there's a lot of stuff in their garden that he can't necessarily identify, but he knows what tea smells like. the way his eyes widen, you'd think he didn't even know tea came from plants.
it's not that, though. he looks up at Erwin, nearly breathless with excitement. what a fucking dork. ]
[ levi didn't think of this because he so rarely does nice things for himself, and because of their connections erwin gives levi a bit of a look with a raised eyebrow at erwin being the smart one for doing a nice thing for levi.
he is smart for doing something nice for his husband when his husband wouldn't do anything nice for himself.
he is also a huge hypocrite.
nonetheless, he's smiling and lifts their joined hands to press a kiss to the back of levi's. ]
I got the different types from that blend you like so much.
[ what is this Prince Charming shit? unbelievable.
it's completely believable, actually—maybe he shouldn't even be surprised? of course Erwin is going to do something really thoughtful and romantic for him for no reason, and of course he's gonna stand there weirdly dumbfounded in spite of how incredibly not surprising it is.
Erwin is so much better than him at keeping things like these a secret despite their connection. it's not really fair when one of you is a tactical genius.
he breathes a sigh, but it's not one his characteristic shows of irritation; it's something deeply content, almost dreamy. how the fuck did he end up married to this guy? he takes a step forward to close the distance between them and wrap his arms around Erwin, burying his face in his shoulder. ]
Thank you.
[ there's a lot more he wants to say, but for the moment, this is all he manages to get out. ]
[ it's not surprising, but it's also nice that it feels like levi's never going to think it's annoying or that it's gotten old. levi appreciates everything erwin does, which makes erwin want to do more things for him, and it's an endless positive feedback loop.
when levi leans into him like that both of erwin's arms go around levi's waist, hands settling at his back and trailing fingers along his spine. ]
Of course.
[ he presses a kiss to levi's hair, then rests his cheek atop his head. ]
[ it's fine. he doesn't know how to handle compliments anyway, even if they're just the kind of compliments that are like "hey, I'm pretty sure I could wail on you relentlessly for an hour and you wouldn't even cry about it and I guess I kinda respect that maybe".
he'd probably still be pretty humbled to hear it, though. you know, for the record. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
you know what this is. mawwiage. april!
and he knows levi loves him just as much as erwin loves him, but he still feels like a teenager nervous about a first date right now just thinking about what's coming later in the day.
it really is silly, but whenever levi passes him by doing something, anything, his chest tightens more than it normally does when he sees him. it tightens even more when he can reach out with both hands to grasp levi's own as he draws the other man to where he's sitting, tugging him closer and just letting his head tip into levi's chest comfortably, eyes closed.
it's not a distressed thing despite the nervousness, but it is grounding. he uses both thumbs to rub over the backs of levi's hands just because he can. ]
I feel so lucky. You know that, right?
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these things happen.
it doesn't matter that much in the long run, because they're in a better place now (in a literal sense, thankfully nobody is dead) and they still have each other despite everything that's happened in the three different places they've been together, even if two of them were shit.
it's fine. Erwin is here, and for him that means everything is fine.
when Erwin pulls him in suddenly he's confused, but he finds himself smiling anyway, gently squeezing his hands. ]
Well, most people who lose a limb don't just get it back, which you obviously already know since you're a genius or whatever. I guess that's pretty lucky.
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he doesn't want to think about anything past that, or anything that might change that.
it almost feels like a dream that the place they're in now is... good, especially in contrast to where they've come from and where else they've apparently been. it's a lot to deal with overall but they've ended up in the best place possible.
levi's joke makes him huff a breath and he lifts his head to look up at him from his seat, tipping up just enough to kiss him. ]
Well, I'm definitely not complaining about that part. I didn't even really think about ever being able to touch you with both hands, and now I can.
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[ for the moment, he doesn't have any reason to think this wasn't the subject Erwin had meant to bring up, so he doesn't really mean to be coy.
he presses a kiss of his own to Erwin's lips. ]
So you were just thinking about touching me with the one hand. Is that right?
[ okay, maybe a little bit coy. ]
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it happens again though, with that 'coy' flirt.
erwin smith's face dusts pink as he looks up at him, returning the kiss but also just being flustered about it. ]
Well. Naturally I was. I had to be realistic, after all.
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he does kiss the blush on Erwin's cheek, though. ]
Sorry. I feel lucky, too. All the time.
[ luck doesn't even begin to describe it. ]
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it's nice. it's nice like levi's smile. his hand reaches up to brush along the corner of levi's mouth while the other (the other!) settles at levi's waist, tactile and grounding. he needs the grounding right now. ]
We can both be lucky. Careful though, you'll ramp up my ego until my neck can't hold my head up for the weight of it.
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good one. ]
Oh, right. Your ego.
[ he moves to sit next to Erwin rather than stand there, even if it is nice to have the high ground for a moment every once in awhile. ]
I can't say I'm worried about you having too many positive thoughts about yourself.
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[ he leans into Levi when he sits, just sort of basking in being able to do this still. it's never going to feel real, but it's not going to waste whatever time they get here together. it's a little more odd now that they know they've been elsewhere before, though. levi will probably notice those kinds of thoughts percolating in erwin's head, but he doesn't seem too worried about it at this particular moment.
no, instead there's a surge of affection when levi snorts. ]
Remember that, that you're not worried. [ smaller, quieter, with a short-lived anxious jiggle of his knee: ] You might make me see how you think about me yet.
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not like this, though. he's never known anyone so inwardly brutal. he hates it.
but it does give him an idea. he tucks his head in against Erwin's shoulder—he just fits there perfectly somehow. it's very convenient. ]
Maybe I can give you an ego that way. I'll just start thinking the way I want you to think about yourself. Constantly. How's that?
[ he already does this, actually. it's a flawed plan. this is why he doesn't make the plans. ]
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text.
I'm in the garden.
[ they definitely have a garden and erwin is in it almost all of the time he's not just with levi. oh well, it keeps him busy. ]
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he doesn't answer, but only because he appears only a moment later, arms crossed in feigned annoyance. ]
What? Did you lose something in the dirt?
[ the (fake) bad attitude is notably absent in his voice in spite of what he's saying. he does hope that isn't actually what happened, though. he and dirt don't really get along. ]
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[ he smiles, a little crookedly, and tugs his gloves off so that he can reach out with a clean hand for levi's. ]
I planted some things that I want you to see. They're over here.
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Maybe.
[ what if Erwin had lost his wedding ring? perish the thought.
he takes Erwin's clean hand (he would have taken it even if it was dirty, don't tell anyone) and lets him lead him to whatever thing Erwin is growing at the moment. he's on the edge of his seat. ]
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erwin leads him off to a spot off to the side, where there are several different leafy/flowering plants in a dirt bed and an herb drying rack set nearby where it'll get the most sunlight. the area smells good, too, sort of like opening a bag of tea and sniffing it. there are a few little bundles on the rack drying already, but the plants still have plenty of leaves on them.
god, of course he did. ]
... I wanted to see how well I could grow them.
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it takes him a moment to process what's happening. he never had the opportunity to (attempt to) grow his own tea, and even here it never really crossed his mind. how did he not think of this?
oh, well. Erwin's the smart one, as ever.
the smell of tea is what clues him in first. there's a lot of stuff in their garden that he can't necessarily identify, but he knows what tea smells like. the way his eyes widen, you'd think he didn't even know tea came from plants.
it's not that, though. he looks up at Erwin, nearly breathless with excitement. what a fucking dork. ]
Tea?
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he is smart for doing something nice for his husband when his husband wouldn't do anything nice for himself.
he is also a huge hypocrite.
nonetheless, he's smiling and lifts their joined hands to press a kiss to the back of levi's. ]
I got the different types from that blend you like so much.
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it's completely believable, actually—maybe he shouldn't even be surprised? of course Erwin is going to do something really thoughtful and romantic for him for no reason, and of course he's gonna stand there weirdly dumbfounded in spite of how incredibly not surprising it is.
Erwin is so much better than him at keeping things like these a secret despite their connection. it's not really fair when one of you is a tactical genius.
he breathes a sigh, but it's not one his characteristic shows of irritation; it's something deeply content, almost dreamy. how the fuck did he end up married to this guy? he takes a step forward to close the distance between them and wrap his arms around Erwin, burying his face in his shoulder. ]
Thank you.
[ there's a lot more he wants to say, but for the moment, this is all he manages to get out. ]
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when levi leans into him like that both of erwin's arms go around levi's waist, hands settling at his back and trailing fingers along his spine. ]
Of course.
[ he presses a kiss to levi's hair, then rests his cheek atop his head. ]
I'd do anything for you.
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text
Hey. I want your help with something.
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that said, he'd be surprised to get a message at any time of day. ]
what do you need?
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A warm body practice my kicks on. You're the only option I can think of.
[ Bertholtd is an option, but pummeling him might make her feel bad. Eren is out. She wouldn't ask Erwin, and he has one arm. ]
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maybe he should have been? ]
the only one, huh?
i guess i'm obligated then
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... It definitely would have been more flattering to mention those things instead, but oh well! The die is cast, as they say. ]
Oh, some throws and some holds too. Hope that's fine.
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he'd probably still be pretty humbled to hear it, though. you know, for the record. ]
not a problem
where do you want me?