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[ even though it's strange, they're pulling through it like they always do. the point of the matter is they're together and they're going to be for the foreseeable future.

he doesn't want to think about anything past that, or anything that might change that.

it almost feels like a dream that the place they're in now is... good, especially in contrast to where they've come from and where else they've apparently been. it's a lot to deal with overall but they've ended up in the best place possible.

levi's joke makes him huff a breath and he lifts his head to look up at him from his seat, tipping up just enough to kiss him. ]

Well, I'm definitely not complaining about that part. I didn't even really think about ever being able to touch you with both hands, and now I can.

Hmm.

[ for the moment, he doesn't have any reason to think this wasn't the subject Erwin had meant to bring up, so he doesn't really mean to be coy.

he presses a kiss of his own to Erwin's lips. ]

So you were just thinking about touching me with the one hand. Is that right?

[ okay, maybe a little bit coy. ]

[ a little bit coy is fine. it's like a little treat.

it happens again though, with that 'coy' flirt.

erwin smith's face dusts pink as he looks up at him, returning the kiss but also just being flustered about it. ]

Well. Naturally I was. I had to be realistic, after all.

[ he smiles, and it's something only Erwin will ever see. there's nothing coy about it—he can't bring himself to keep teasing him.

he does kiss the blush on Erwin's cheek, though. ]

Sorry. I feel lucky, too. All the time.

[ luck doesn't even begin to describe it. ]

[ he doesn't blush more when levi kisses his cheek, thankfully. but he does lean into it with a low sigh, a content one that he has no trouble exhaling lately.

it's nice. it's nice like levi's smile. his hand reaches up to brush along the corner of levi's mouth while the other (the other!) settles at levi's waist, tactile and grounding. he needs the grounding right now. ]

We can both be lucky. Careful though, you'll ramp up my ego until my neck can't hold my head up for the weight of it.

[ okay, now that is a funny joke. Erwin with an ego problem? Erwin with an ego, period? he snorts loudly.

good one. ]

Oh, right. Your ego.

[ he moves to sit next to Erwin rather than stand there, even if it is nice to have the high ground for a moment every once in awhile. ]

I can't say I'm worried about you having too many positive thoughts about yourself.

You heard me, my ego.

[ he leans into Levi when he sits, just sort of basking in being able to do this still. it's never going to feel real, but it's not going to waste whatever time they get here together. it's a little more odd now that they know they've been elsewhere before, though. levi will probably notice those kinds of thoughts percolating in erwin's head, but he doesn't seem too worried about it at this particular moment.

no, instead there's a surge of affection when levi snorts. ]

Remember that, that you're not worried. [ smaller, quieter, with a short-lived anxious jiggle of his knee: ] You might make me see how you think about me yet.

[ he's just going to shake his head at the mere mention of Erwin's hypothetical ego. ridiculous. he won't keep scolding him about it, though; it won't work, for one thing, and it's also probably a little bit hypocritical. he doesn't have the best opinion of himself, either.

not like this, though. he's never known anyone so inwardly brutal. he hates it.

but it does give him an idea. he tucks his head in against Erwin's shoulder—he just fits there perfectly somehow. it's very convenient. ]

Maybe I can give you an ego that way. I'll just start thinking the way I want you to think about yourself. Constantly. How's that?

[ he already does this, actually. it's a flawed plan. this is why he doesn't make the plans. ]

[ it could be there. someday. but yeah, scolding never really does it for him in the convincing him department. it's funny: he believes levi immediately on everything he says except for when he says erwin is worthwhile.

those thoughts don't linger.

what does linger is erwin's arm wrapping around levi tighter than before and holding him close and the way his head dips against levi's like they're the only things supporting each other. maybe that really is how it works, though. ]

You act like you're joking, but it's already been working some.

[ he DOES seem to have fewer spirals into self-loathing despair lately, which is probably great. but it's definitely better to know it's not because of some other thing, it's because, you know, some of that fog is clearing. ]

Oh, you think I'm joking? I can assure you I'm not joking.

[ well. his tone is light, so it's hard to say. but when it comes down to it, if it's a question of whether or not he'll think about how much he loves Erwin all day, it's pretty obvious what his intentions are.

the second part of what Erwin says catches him a little off-guard, though. for a moment he has to sit back up straight so he can look him in the eyes. ]

Wait, really?

[ success?!? ]

Oh, I know you'll do it, I meant the other part.

[ the erwin growing an ego bit.

he blinks a couple times when levi sits up so abruptly, but the question makes him smile slightly, tilting his head the tiniest bit as he gazes back. ]

Have I ever lied to you about something like this?

[ owing to their early interactions, he can't claim he's never lied to him at all. or lied in his direction. either or. whatever. what matters is he's telling the truth. ]

[ of course he doesn't suspect Erwin is lying, ever, but the thought of him having literally any positive emotions about himself has always seemed so out of reach that it's hard to believe it may have finally happened.

holy shit.

he smiles back at him. ]

Well. It's about time.

You've certainly been working on it long enough. I've always trusted your judgment in everything else, can I really say that's valid if I don't trust you on this too?

[ gotten by his own logic. he kisses levi's smile and touches his side. ]

If you believe it, it's true.

[ okay, that? that is the thing he's been wanting to hear forever. it's another thing he failed to accomplish before Erwin died: making Erwin see himself the way he sees him. even just a glimpse would have been so much more than Erwin ever saw in himself.

the fact that he got another chance is incredible enough. but to finally succeed? there's not much that makes him feel happier than this. Erwin will sense that easily.

he reaches up to hold Erwin's face where it is and look him in the eyes. he's still smiling. ]

That's what I've been trying to tell you all this time.

[ he does sense that happiness, how levi lights up emotionally just from a tiny admission like this from erwin. it makes him want to chase that joy even more, to dip into it more and more and make sure levi never stops smiling again.

he breathes out smoothly, looking right into levi's eyes as his face is cradled. ]

Even if not for the rest of it, I know you'd never give up and what you dedicate yourself to means so much to me.

[ another admission, since what levi dedicates himself to is erwin. ]

[ wouldn't that be weird, though? if he never stopped smiling? people would think he hit his head.

good thing doesn't care. Erwin would know the truth, and that's really all he cares about. ]

Well, good. Because that's been you for a long time.

[ even after Erwin was gone.

he's well aware he doesn't need to tell him this, but he's going to do it anyway. ]

[ erwin is smiling. they can smile together and that's all that matters. ]

I know. I knew all along, but somehow it didn't translate into actually thinking I was worth that devotion.

[ he considers. he doesn't need to say this out loud either, but he will anyway. ]

Even before... this, for lack of a better way to put it, I could never understand how I deserved it, but I'll try.

That's all I would ever ask for.

[ he slides his hand back to tip Erwin's head forward and leans in to rest his own forehead against Erwin's. after a moment, he closes his eyes. ]

You know how I feel. I want you to know why.

You've been working so hard to make me realize it, it'd be a grave misstep on my part to not realize how much it means to you. Not just to you, to us.

[ his eyes are also closed; he's breathing in and out slowly, evenly. ]

You make me see a lot of things differently, Levi.

[ it's not until right then that he realizes Erwin seems to be breathing slow and steadily like this on purpose, like he's trying to calm himself down. why, though? did something happen?

he frowns at the thought, opening his eyes again. ]

Hey, are you all right?

[ he straightens a little at the question, not pulling away but just so he's not slumping any. he shakes his head too, trying to think of his words. ]

I'm fine. I'm just keeping your opinion of me in mind when it comes to realizing I've been so slow to pick up on something so important to you.

[ a beat. ]

So, the usual.

[ wry. ]

[ he clicks his tongue, even if it's a relief that nothing happened and he doesn't have to kill anyone after all.

wait, what? ]

I dunno if I'd call it "the usual." I think you know me better than I do.

[ it just... took Erwin dying and resurrecting in another universe before he finally realized Levi was in love with him. it's fine.

he tucks himself back in against Erwin's chest. ]

Just accept that you're amazing and brilliant and beautiful already.

[ it's kind of a joke because he knows it's not that easy, but it's also a true statement. ]

[ he doesn't have to kill anyone, no. which is good, because he's probably going to be metaphorically tied up with erwin for a while yet. ]

Mm. I just feel like I wasted time.

[ so they're on the same page about that part. he holds levi closer though, closing his eyes and pressing a kiss into his hair. ]

Too late for that now, best to focus on the present and future, right?

[ right. that's accepting his worth, right? ]

[ wasted time... if anyone wasted time, it was him. he keeps that thought in his head though, not eager to revisit the end of Erwin's life for the thousandth time. he doesn't have to do that anymore.

plus, that's what nightmares are for.

he holds Erwin a little tighter, too. ]

Yeah. Let's just not look back.

[ well, this is as good a time as any, isn't it? there's a whole setup right there. all he has to do is... ]

About looking forward.

[ he's leaning into him a little, gripping one of levi's hands. ]

We've already agreed it's forever, that much is a given. We've already made it official in many ways.

[ his fingertips brush along the base of levi's ring finger, just barely there. ]

What do you think about making it official in another way?

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