[ he smiles against Erwin's shoulder. he's not sure how he expected Erwin to respond to such a stupid thing he just blurted out in a rush of emotion, but that sounds about right.
level-headed but still wholehearted. that's Erwin for you.
he finally lifts his head to look at him again, one hand moving to cradle Erwin's face. it looks like there might be tears in his eyes, but it is simply an illusion. he's not crying.
he's not. ]
The only thing I can tell you for sure is there's no world where I'm not right here.
[ he can't separate himself from his need to be by Erwin's side. it's a fundamental part of who he is—maybe the most fundamental part.
[ naturally erwin would respond in this way. there's no other way to respond. so here he is, doing what he does automatically.
he tips his head into it when levi's hand finds his face, and he smiles gently. obviously the tears are a trick of the light. they are in erwin's eyes too. ]
I wouldn't want a single world where you weren't.
[ he leans in to press a soft kiss to levi's mouth, lingering but not pressing for anything more just now. ]
So I figured while the blood bonds are a boon, we could cement it another way as well.
[ he's still not used to being this happy. he's not used to being happy at all, really—at home he experienced it in small doses when he was able to spend time alone with Erwin, and then in Trench he was happy to have him back after four years alone, but both places were so ridiculously dangerous that that happiness was always weighed down by fear that he'd lose him again. the truth is, even here, he's still a little afraid—maybe he'll always have nightmares where he's alone again.
but to be in a place like this where he's not constantly worrying about Erwin dying again, where they can live together almost like they're regular people and get married like regular people?
he didn't know it was even possible to be this happy, especially not for someone like him.
despite the very real joy he's feeling, he suddenly looks deadly serious. ]
Then let's do it.
[ like, now. literally right now. that's normal, right? ]
[ it's great to be happy, though. it's so much more plentiful than the rare, rare moments they had at home, between the dangers of trench. this place is so different; it feels like they can just exist, though they still have things they need to work through emotionally.
they probably need therapy, but what kind of therapist is going to know what the hell to tell these men?
he doesn't expect anything bad from levi's serious face because he can still sense that joy; he laughs at what the other man finally says, kissing him soundly. ]
[ his serious face looks a little less serious when he cracks a smile. he can't help it—Erwin immediately agreeing to just do it without even a second thought makes him even happier.
he also got a laugh and a kiss out of it, so that's a win, too. ]
Now that you put the idea in my head, I don't wanna waste any more time not being married to you.
[ he takes Erwin's hands again and stands, drawing Erwin up with him, and then glances back down at their hands. ]
Oh. We're supposed to have rings, huh?
[ truthfully he doesn't give a shit about that part, but if they have the luxury of a semi-normal life here they might as well do it properly, right?
plus he wants Erwin to have a ring. that part is important. ]
[ he's not sure why he'd ever been nervous about asking. of course this is the next step, and of course they're both so excited about it. of course levi's drawing him up to his feet like he can't wait to get them hitched. ]
No moment spent with you is a waste, married or not.
[ teasing, just a little. but then the topic turns to rings and he looks down at their hands as well, considering. ]
There are shops around, but do we have the patience to get them before we do this, or do we want to do this then pick rings for each other?
[ yeah, well, erwin just smiles at him. look at that. it's like dickmatized but with love. heartmatized.
anyway, that weird thought process aside, he thinks before finally settling on: ]
There are places that do them, certainly, I think it's just a manner of finding a suitable one. Probably closer to the more heavily-populated areas, but I don't mind that.
[ hmm. he doesn't really mind the more populated areas either—in the greater scheme of things, the where is not important at all—but it would be nice to have a little privacy. he never could have imagined being married, but having a wedding is even more out there than that.
to be completely honest, he's not sure if he'd want to have a wedding. what they're trying to do now sounds perfect.
they've been here awhile now—where could they go that would be meaningful to both of them?
[ that, that drags another smile out of him, even wider than the previous one, and he nods. ]
It's perfect. I hadn't even thought of it somehow, but you're absolutely right. The maze will suit this perfectly.
[ so perfectly that he presses an idle kiss to levi's mouth before starting to basically tug him in the direction of the maze, which means outside, but he pauses. ]
[ oh. clothes. he glances down at what he's wearing, which is... pretty much the same shit he wears every day. it's not fancy, but it's clean (of course) and sharp enough. he's not sure what he would change into, to be honest. ]
I don't really have anything special.
[ he takes a moment to give Erwin a (totally necessary) once-over. ]
You can change if you want, but I think you look good.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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level-headed but still wholehearted. that's Erwin for you.
he finally lifts his head to look at him again, one hand moving to cradle Erwin's face. it looks like there might be tears in his eyes, but it is simply an illusion. he's not crying.
he's not. ]
The only thing I can tell you for sure is there's no world where I'm not right here.
[ he can't separate himself from his need to be by Erwin's side. it's a fundamental part of who he is—maybe the most fundamental part.
it's pretty simple, really. ]
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he tips his head into it when levi's hand finds his face, and he smiles gently. obviously the tears are a trick of the light. they are in erwin's eyes too. ]
I wouldn't want a single world where you weren't.
[ he leans in to press a soft kiss to levi's mouth, lingering but not pressing for anything more just now. ]
So I figured while the blood bonds are a boon, we could cement it another way as well.
[ hence asking levi to marry him. ]
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but to be in a place like this where he's not constantly worrying about Erwin dying again, where they can live together almost like they're regular people and get married like regular people?
he didn't know it was even possible to be this happy, especially not for someone like him.
despite the very real joy he's feeling, he suddenly looks deadly serious. ]
Then let's do it.
[ like, now. literally right now. that's normal, right? ]
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they probably need therapy, but what kind of therapist is going to know what the hell to tell these men?
he doesn't expect anything bad from levi's serious face because he can still sense that joy; he laughs at what the other man finally says, kissing him soundly. ]
I agree. Let's do it.
[ immediately. totally normal behavior. ]
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he also got a laugh and a kiss out of it, so that's a win, too. ]
Now that you put the idea in my head, I don't wanna waste any more time not being married to you.
[ he takes Erwin's hands again and stands, drawing Erwin up with him, and then glances back down at their hands. ]
Oh. We're supposed to have rings, huh?
[ truthfully he doesn't give a shit about that part, but if they have the luxury of a semi-normal life here they might as well do it properly, right?
plus he wants Erwin to have a ring. that part is important. ]
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No moment spent with you is a waste, married or not.
[ teasing, just a little. but then the topic turns to rings and he looks down at their hands as well, considering. ]
There are shops around, but do we have the patience to get them before we do this, or do we want to do this then pick rings for each other?
[ that erwin, always with the ideas. ]
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Yeah, yeah. You know what I meant.
[ it's true, though. every moment he has with Erwin is a gift, no matter how fucking stupid that sounds. he'll never lose sight of that.
he smiles again at Erwin's suggestion. this is why Erwin makes the plans, you see. ]
You're right. We can figure that shit out later. So then...
[ he pauses briefly, thoughtful for a moment. ]
Where should we go?
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anyway, that weird thought process aside, he thinks before finally settling on: ]
There are places that do them, certainly, I think it's just a manner of finding a suitable one. Probably closer to the more heavily-populated areas, but I don't mind that.
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to be completely honest, he's not sure if he'd want to have a wedding. what they're trying to do now sounds perfect.
they've been here awhile now—where could they go that would be meaningful to both of them?
he thinks he might have an idea, actually. ]
You remember that maze?
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It's perfect. I hadn't even thought of it somehow, but you're absolutely right. The maze will suit this perfectly.
[ so perfectly that he presses an idle kiss to levi's mouth before starting to basically tug him in the direction of the maze, which means outside, but he pauses. ]
Right. Do we want to change clothes first?
[ he's so easily distracted today. wonder why? ]
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I don't really have anything special.
[ he takes a moment to give Erwin a (totally necessary) once-over. ]
You can change if you want, but I think you look good.
[ he always thinks Erwin looks good. ]