t-t-traumaprom

[dirtdevil]

Characters: Eren & Levi
Time: The asscrack of dawn
Location: A snow globe in a dollar store? Who the fuck knows
Description: PARTY HARD till someone dies whoops

[ So this thing is happening. Bummer. Who will live? Who will die!? It'll be very dramatic I'm sure. Man, their lives sure do suck, huh? ]

Comments

[dirtdevil]

[yeah that's right, you show that wall who's boss]

We make a decision, obviously. We'll have to bank on the second one being good enough to get us both out alive.

The first one is a no-brainer, though.

[wirsinddiejager]

It is?

[dirtdevil]

People have already died for your sake. Do you really think I'd make their sacrifice pointless and kill you myself?

Killing you is an absolute worst case scenario. Shitty as this situation is, it still doesn't qualify.

[wirsinddiejager]

[...just staying quiet for a moment because while he can't argue, he definitely doesn't like any of this]

So we just make sure to make a good enough offer.

[dirtdevil]

It's all we can do.

[he leans against the dome wall. could they have at least left some chairs in here, damn]

Any bright ideas?

[wirsinddiejager]

Er... [THINKING

THINKING SO HARD]





No, sir. Sorry.

[dirtdevil]

[sigh.]

I don't know what we're supposed to be offering when we don't have anything on us.

[wirsinddiejager]

There's got to be something she'd want from us, right? There'd be no point to all this otherwise.

[dirtdevil]

What the hell does she want, then? Your soul? Your left leg?

[actually that last one wouldn't be a bad idea but some of us can't just grow a new one afterwards.]

[wirsinddiejager]

...Do you think my left leg would work?

[dirtdevil]

[snort. oh, you.]

Not yours, I'm sure. Even if she accepted the offer not knowing, she'd find out afterwards and probably kill us both.

[wirsinddiejager]

Dammit.

[ugh why can't Armin be here, he's so much better at this kind of stuff.]

[dirtdevil]

[do you really want to see Armin die tho]

Judging by the fact that she seems to have magicked all of this into existence, I'm assuming she could take even things with no physical form. It wouldn't make any sense otherwise because people don't tend to carry their valuables around in their pockets.

Unless she really does just want a pile of body parts.

[wirsinddiejager]

[nooooooo 8(]

She wants people to die, at least. Even if everyone makes good offers, she's still going to kill half of them. So maybe she just wants to make people suffer.

[dirtdevil]

That much is clear. So the question becomes, what does the bitch value more than watching people die?

[wirsinddiejager]

...Something that would be worse than dying?

[dirtdevil]

But if it's worse than dying, why would anyone bother making an offer? It would be better to say fuck it and just die.

[wirsinddiejager]

[all this thinking is giving Eren a headache]

How the hell are we supposed to know what she wants?

[dirtdevil]

Doubt we can ask her. That would make it too easy, which would make it less fun to watch.

[he glares off into the distance at nothing in particular. he just needs to glare at something right now. glaaaare.]

[wirsinddiejager]

[that is some quality glaring, dang]

So I guess we should be offering something that would entertain her?

[dirtdevil]

[years and years of experience, bro]

She'd probably like a big chunk of titan. I bet she's a sick fuck.

Too bad it evaporates.

[wirsinddiejager]

I don't think I could turn into a titan in here anyway. Not enough room.

[dirtdevil]

[what if I threw some cutlery on the floor.]

It doesn't matter. That probably doesn't involve enough suffering to sate her.

[wirsinddiejager]

[do you have any cutlery on you i didn't think so]

So what would?

[dirtdevil]

[after some careful consideration he finally just flops down on the ground. looks clean enough.]

I don't know. I can't think of anything else. The only thing I can say is she probably hasn't seen a kid turn into a giant before. But there's no way I could cut you back out with that shitty knife she left us.