[ he sits as instructed, shooting Erwin a mostly-facetious scowl of disapproval as he notes not one but two gifts. who does this guy think he is, getting him two gifts?
for that matter, how the fuck did he wrap them with one hand? ridiculous. what a ridiculous man.
well, whatever. he sighs, picking up one of his gifts and beginning to unwrap it. ]
[ the answers, in order, are: levi's blood husband, and very carefully.
in any case, when levi unwraps them one will be a pair of fitted gloves similar to the one that levi gave him for his birthday, just as perfectly sized. practical, of course.
the other is a tea blend, unmarked save a list of ingredients. it's not anything levi would have seen if he was out buying tea, but the ingredients are, somehow, only things levi likes. ]
the gloves make him smile: they look just like the one he got Erwin for his birthday, and he can tell they're the perfect size (read: fucking small) without even having to put them on.
he does put them on, though. why not? now they can be one of those obnoxious matching couples. truly heartwarming.
the second gift leaves him much more puzzled. it's tea, so he's basically guaranteed to love it, but the lack of any identification is bizarre—until he actually reads through what's in the blend.
he squints over at Erwin, still processing what he's looking at. ]
How did you—
[ but he trails off, looking back down at the tea instead. after another brief moment, he sets the tea back down on the table decisively and stands up.
he walks over to where Erwin sits, purposeful but expressionless. standing in front of him, he reaches out with two gloved fingers to tip Erwin's chin upward, and then he leans in until they're virtually nose-to-nose, staring him dead in the eye. ]
[ erwin is very pleased with himself, actually, as levi opens his gifts. as he puts the gloves on. being men in uniform they'd usually matched before, but this is different, and personal, and he likes it.
he likes it a lot.
the tea he's a little more nervous about, and he startles a little at the initial reaction, though by the time levi is so close he tips his head up easily, pliantly, waiting for him to speak, and then.
[ the hell of it is he doesn't need to focus any of it on Levi. Erwin could be well into the negatives on the smoothness scale and it wouldn't change a thing.
incidentally Levi is the one with negative smoothness. most of the time he doesn't even try. he's lucky Erwin doesn't seem to care. ]
Well, I haven't tried it yet, have I?
[ he takes Erwin's hand and straightens, encouraging him to stand with him. ]
[ the other hell of it is that levi is fucking smooth as hell. with erwin. in his opinion.
and that's what matters, isn't it? erwin's opinion.
he huffs a sound at the response, then stands slowly, cracking at the waist with a satisfied grimace, then heads over to the like, tea tools cabinet? you know the one. he's still holding onto levi's hand though, so levi is going to have to get the tea strainer or whatever shit they need with his other hand.
then: ]
I don't know, I'm pretty confident.
[ ok but is he, or is he faking it until he makes it? we'll find out. ]
[ it sounds like a challenge, but as usual he's full of shit. in reality, there's no doubt in his mind that this is gonna be the best tea he's ever tasted. then again, it's pretty likely he'd think that even if he didn't just see a list of the ingredients. being from Erwin is enough.
there's an almost robotic way that he prepares the tea because he's done it so many fucking times, and he still catches himself trying to make just one cup pretty often. not this time, though. this time, he's even happier than usual to be handing Erwin a cup of tea.
he's probably never been happier on his birthday than this. ]
[ the thing about being here now, about having time together, about having this thing that's just for them, is erwin can just sit and watch levi do things. so he does. he doesn't plan anything, doesn't think about anything else, just watches levi make tea with a warm feeling in his chest.
levi remembering to make two cups of tea without course correcting in the middle is nice too, and he tilts his head while he watches him do this part, perfectly goddamn content. he can feel levi's emotional state too and that just works as a sort of feedback loop.
he takes his tea with a grateful hum even though he needs to let go of his hand to do it, but this is for his honor. it's important. ]
[ spoken like someone who doesn't compulsively deep-clean their cabin like every other day, or perhaps someone who has some exhaustive knowledge of his own. whatever.
anyway, once Erwin takes his cup he picks up his own, but for a second he just looks at it. after that, he sniffs it, and takes another second to appreciate the aroma. he likes the smell of tea anyway, but a tea custom-made for him? by Erwin? it's definitely a new candidate for Favorite Smell.
he finally takes a sip, and for a moment, nothing happens. he doesn't react to it in any way. it doesn't last too long, though—he doesn't want to make Erwin nervous that he doesn't like it.
quite the opposite, in fact. even though he doesn't say as much, the verdict should be fairly unambiguous when he instead sets the cup back down and walks right back up to Erwin, reaches up to draw his face down, and kisses him full on the mouth.
it's probably not how Erwin expected to have his first taste of the tea he created, but that's just too fucking bad. ]
[ mildly. where did he learn that vernacular? whatever, it sounds cute coming from him.
he does watch levi closely though as he does his various tea-testing actions, from looking to smelling to tasting, and he's juuuust about to get nervous when levi sets the cup down. he's briefly unsure what kind of sign that is but then levi is kissing him and he returns it fervently, setting his own cup down to put his hand at the side of his neck.
he can pick the cup back up later, because he can definitely taste the tea on levi's lips.
when the kiss ends it's actually pretty cute because he's flushed slightly pink from some kind of pleasure-embarrassment, looks like he was a little more nervous than he'd let on. ]
[ he can't help but smile a little at Erwin's flush—the fact that he can evoke such a reaction is still weird to him, but in a way it also makes him feel powerful.
humanity's strongest nothing, who cares about that? this is the real shit. ]
It's perfect.
[ he leans up to kiss him one more time, and then hands him his cup again. ]
I'll have to thank you properly later.
[ give his brain a second to catch up with what his mouth just said. when it does, suddenly he looks mortified—he can't just talk like that.
[ yeah, he's flushed. move on, dude. he hums into the second kiss, then noses against his temple as he takes the cup, then straightens to take his first actual sip.
audibly chokes when levi speaks again.
has to cough a couple times before he regains his composure but he's way more flushed now, genuinely so, just absolutely obliterated by the tiniest flirt because for as well as he knows levi, he was not expecting that in the least. ]
I. [ oh my god is he at a loss for words. ] I'd certainly welcome it, you know that.
[ oh god. oh god why did he just say that? he's trying to hide his face by going back to drinking his (perfect) tea, but he's probably even redder than Erwin is.
fuck. ]
I—
[ fuuuck. should he apologize? it's not like he didn't mean it. he just didn't mean to blurt it out like that.
...on the other hand, getting that reaction out of Erwin feels kind of awesome. maybe not the nearly-choking part, but his response?
[ that flush is not going away. it looks really cute on him actually, makes him look a little younger, a little less worn. not that levi cares that he looks a little worn.
he looks at levi a moment after he speaks again, still visibly flustered but not upset in literally any way.
he reaches out to gently take levi's teacup and set it down, then plants his hand on the counter to hem him in a little and lean in for another kiss. it's not demanding, but it is lingering, and he huffs a breath against his mouth. ]
[ it does look cute on him. Levi doesn't get to see it very often, but other people never get to see it at all, so he counts himself lucky.
in many, many ways.
but Erwin's not the only one looking flushed—he can't hide it as easily with his teacup taken away, and then Erwin kisses him so that just makes it worse. ("worse", like he isn't already having the best birthday he's ever had.)
of course, he's still more than happy to return the kiss, and when Erwin admits defeat he smiles, a little smug even though he didn't actually do it on purpose, lifting a hand to touch Erwin's (cute, flushed) face. ]
So all I have to do is say something vaguely suggestive and you're done for? Good to know.
[ again, said like any of this was intentional. he'll never be that cool. ]
[ even when they're not kissing erwin is just looking at levi lovingly, devoted, dedicated. levi's flush is cute too, it always is, and it always makes erwin smile.
he leans into the touch easily, eyes lidding, and just fucking keeps smiling at him.
levi looks good with that smug look, and erwin kisses him again to see if he manages to keep it on afterward.
he hums against his mouth before answering, trying to regain a bit of the suave thing he normally has going (at least when it comes to levi) and failing. ]
[ he certainly tries to keep that face on, just like Erwin does. and just like Erwin does, he fails. he won't say it, but it's pretty clear that the feeling is mutual.
and yet, even if Erwin is his main weakness, he's also the main source of his strength. weird.
he's still trying to pretend he's Cool, though, even if he's failing miserably. he slides his fingertips over to rest against Erwin's lips. ]
Well, don't worry. I would never try to exploit something like that.
[ they're both pretending to be so goddamn cool right now and they're both entire losers but that's just how it goes, isn't it?
erwin is still charmed past his own embarrassment though, and he does manage to brush a kiss across the tips of levi's fingers before he even tries to say anything. ]
[ the real question is, which one of them is less cool? highly debatable. fortunately, both of them think the other is amazing, so maybe it doesn't really matter.
in any case, he doesn't seem to be in any hurry to stop doing whatever the hell he's doing. his free hand moves to join Erwin's on the counter. ]
[ he's probably never heard it before, but there's a saying about not writing a check with your mouth that your ass can't cash, and usually that's not an issue for him, but, well... ]
Wh—
[ he may have insufficient funds.
it's easy enough to tell, with the way he has to break eye contact and the complete lack of a comeback, and then it's his turn to be obliterated.
he'd opened his mouth to say something, but nothing really came out. he's too flustered. so much for winning anything. ]
[ oh, so erwin is back in the saddle. points to him. a big double thumbs up. (ha ha ha.) he huffs a sound though, ducking to kiss him again, just a little light thing with a hum against his mouth. ]
Sorry, sorry.
[ he doesn't sound sorry, but he does sound indescribably fond. ]
[ he punches Erwin very very lightly in the chest. it's not very convincing. it's even less convincing when he then uses that same hand to hold Erwin's head where it is at his level so he can kiss him again. ]
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for that matter, how the fuck did he wrap them with one hand? ridiculous. what a ridiculous man.
well, whatever. he sighs, picking up one of his gifts and beginning to unwrap it. ]
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in any case, when levi unwraps them one will be a pair of fitted gloves similar to the one that levi gave him for his birthday, just as perfectly sized. practical, of course.
the other is a tea blend, unmarked save a list of ingredients. it's not anything levi would have seen if he was out buying tea, but the ingredients are, somehow, only things levi likes. ]
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the gloves make him smile: they look just like the one he got Erwin for his birthday, and he can tell they're the perfect size (read: fucking small) without even having to put them on.
he does put them on, though. why not? now they can be one of those obnoxious matching couples. truly heartwarming.
the second gift leaves him much more puzzled. it's tea, so he's basically guaranteed to love it, but the lack of any identification is bizarre—until he actually reads through what's in the blend.
he squints over at Erwin, still processing what he's looking at. ]
How did you—
[ but he trails off, looking back down at the tea instead. after another brief moment, he sets the tea back down on the table decisively and stands up.
he walks over to where Erwin sits, purposeful but expressionless. standing in front of him, he reaches out with two gloved fingers to tip Erwin's chin upward, and then he leans in until they're virtually nose-to-nose, staring him dead in the eye. ]
Have you been stalking me?
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he likes it a lot.
the tea he's a little more nervous about, and he startles a little at the initial reaction, though by the time levi is so close he tips his head up easily, pliantly, waiting for him to speak, and then.
he huffs out a laugh. ]
Every day. Every moment, you're on my mind.
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he smiles at him instead, leaning down (down?!) to close what little space remains between them and kiss him softly. ]
Thank you.
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he returns the kiss, eyes lidding a little, then brushes another across his cheek. ]
Of course. I'm glad you like it.
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incidentally Levi is the one with negative smoothness. most of the time he doesn't even try. he's lucky Erwin doesn't seem to care. ]
Well, I haven't tried it yet, have I?
[ he takes Erwin's hand and straightens, encouraging him to stand with him. ]
Let's find out.
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and that's what matters, isn't it? erwin's opinion.
he huffs a sound at the response, then stands slowly, cracking at the waist with a satisfied grimace, then heads over to the like, tea tools cabinet? you know the one. he's still holding onto levi's hand though, so levi is going to have to get the tea strainer or whatever shit they need with his other hand.
then: ]
I don't know, I'm pretty confident.
[ ok but is he, or is he faking it until he makes it? we'll find out. ]
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[ it sounds like a challenge, but as usual he's full of shit. in reality, there's no doubt in his mind that this is gonna be the best tea he's ever tasted. then again, it's pretty likely he'd think that even if he didn't just see a list of the ingredients. being from Erwin is enough.
there's an almost robotic way that he prepares the tea because he's done it so many fucking times, and he still catches himself trying to make just one cup pretty often. not this time, though. this time, he's even happier than usual to be handing Erwin a cup of tea.
he's probably never been happier on his birthday than this. ]
Time to see if all the stalking paid off.
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levi remembering to make two cups of tea without course correcting in the middle is nice too, and he tilts his head while he watches him do this part, perfectly goddamn content. he can feel levi's emotional state too and that just works as a sort of feedback loop.
he takes his tea with a grateful hum even though he needs to let go of his hand to do it, but this is for his honor. it's important. ]
My exhaustive knowledge of you always pays off.
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[ spoken like someone who doesn't compulsively deep-clean their cabin like every other day, or perhaps someone who has some exhaustive knowledge of his own. whatever.
anyway, once Erwin takes his cup he picks up his own, but for a second he just looks at it. after that, he sniffs it, and takes another second to appreciate the aroma. he likes the smell of tea anyway, but a tea custom-made for him? by Erwin? it's definitely a new candidate for Favorite Smell.
he finally takes a sip, and for a moment, nothing happens. he doesn't react to it in any way. it doesn't last too long, though—he doesn't want to make Erwin nervous that he doesn't like it.
quite the opposite, in fact. even though he doesn't say as much, the verdict should be fairly unambiguous when he instead sets the cup back down and walks right back up to Erwin, reaches up to draw his face down, and kisses him full on the mouth.
it's probably not how Erwin expected to have his first taste of the tea he created, but that's just too fucking bad. ]
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[ mildly. where did he learn that vernacular? whatever, it sounds cute coming from him.
he does watch levi closely though as he does his various tea-testing actions, from looking to smelling to tasting, and he's juuuust about to get nervous when levi sets the cup down. he's briefly unsure what kind of sign that is but then levi is kissing him and he returns it fervently, setting his own cup down to put his hand at the side of his neck.
he can pick the cup back up later, because he can definitely taste the tea on levi's lips.
when the kiss ends it's actually pretty cute because he's flushed slightly pink from some kind of pleasure-embarrassment, looks like he was a little more nervous than he'd let on. ]
Is that the final verdict?
[ he even sounds pleased. ]
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humanity's strongest nothing, who cares about that? this is the real shit. ]
It's perfect.
[ he leans up to kiss him one more time, and then hands him his cup again. ]
I'll have to thank you properly later.
[ give his brain a second to catch up with what his mouth just said. when it does, suddenly he looks mortified—he can't just talk like that.
...right? ]
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audibly chokes when levi speaks again.
has to cough a couple times before he regains his composure but he's way more flushed now, genuinely so, just absolutely obliterated by the tiniest flirt because for as well as he knows levi, he was not expecting that in the least. ]
I. [ oh my god is he at a loss for words. ] I'd certainly welcome it, you know that.
[ does he? well, now erwin's said it. ]
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fuck. ]
I—
[ fuuuck. should he apologize? it's not like he didn't mean it. he just didn't mean to blurt it out like that.
...on the other hand, getting that reaction out of Erwin feels kind of awesome. maybe not the nearly-choking part, but his response?
hmm. ]
—I think that can be arranged.
[ he meant to say it this time. ]
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he looks at levi a moment after he speaks again, still visibly flustered but not upset in literally any way.
he reaches out to gently take levi's teacup and set it down, then plants his hand on the counter to hem him in a little and lean in for another kiss. it's not demanding, but it is lingering, and he huffs a breath against his mouth. ]
You've finally won, I'm at a loss for words.
[ he sounds fond, pleased. ]
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in many, many ways.
but Erwin's not the only one looking flushed—he can't hide it as easily with his teacup taken away, and then Erwin kisses him so that just makes it worse. ("worse", like he isn't already having the best birthday he's ever had.)
of course, he's still more than happy to return the kiss, and when Erwin admits defeat he smiles, a little smug even though he didn't actually do it on purpose, lifting a hand to touch Erwin's (cute, flushed) face. ]
So all I have to do is say something vaguely suggestive and you're done for? Good to know.
[ again, said like any of this was intentional. he'll never be that cool. ]
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he leans into the touch easily, eyes lidding, and just fucking keeps smiling at him.
levi looks good with that smug look, and erwin kisses him again to see if he manages to keep it on afterward.
he hums against his mouth before answering, trying to regain a bit of the suave thing he normally has going (at least when it comes to levi) and failing. ]
What can I say? You're my only weakness.
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and yet, even if Erwin is his main weakness, he's also the main source of his strength. weird.
he's still trying to pretend he's Cool, though, even if he's failing miserably. he slides his fingertips over to rest against Erwin's lips. ]
Well, don't worry. I would never try to exploit something like that.
[ the bullshit levels are skyrocketing. ]
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erwin is still charmed past his own embarrassment though, and he does manage to brush a kiss across the tips of levi's fingers before he even tries to say anything. ]
That's alright. I trust you, anyway.
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in any case, he doesn't seem to be in any hurry to stop doing whatever the hell he's doing. his free hand moves to join Erwin's on the counter. ]
Oh? It's alright if I exploit it?
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[ a low hum. their opinions really are the only ones that matter, aren't they? so they're both amazing.
he hooks his fingers with levi's on the counter as he ducks a little past levi's other hand to urge a kiss to his mouth instead. ]
You can exploit me all you like.
[ oh, is he back in the saddle? ]
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Wh—
[ he may have insufficient funds.
it's easy enough to tell, with the way he has to break eye contact and the complete lack of a comeback, and then it's his turn to be obliterated.
he'd opened his mouth to say something, but nothing really came out. he's too flustered. so much for winning anything. ]
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Sorry, sorry.
[ he doesn't sound sorry, but he does sound indescribably fond. ]
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[ he punches Erwin very very lightly in the chest. it's not very convincing. it's even less convincing when he then uses that same hand to hold Erwin's head where it is at his level so he can kiss him again. ]
I'm going to remember you said that, though.
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