[ oh, so erwin is back in the saddle. points to him. a big double thumbs up. (ha ha ha.) he huffs a sound though, ducking to kiss him again, just a little light thing with a hum against his mouth. ]
Sorry, sorry.
[ he doesn't sound sorry, but he does sound indescribably fond. ]
[ he punches Erwin very very lightly in the chest. it's not very convincing. it's even less convincing when he then uses that same hand to hold Erwin's head where it is at his level so he can kiss him again. ]
[ yeah. believe it or not, Feelings win every time, and it's not even close. ]
Really?
[ it's hard to say whether he's being unsubtle on purpose as a bit or if he just doesn't know what he's doing as usual, but either way, he very un-subtly starts fiddling with some of the buttons on Erwin's shirt. not undoing, just fiddling. ]
[ honestly, the win keeps flopping back and forth between the both of them, because once levi starts fiddling (not undoing, just fiddling) with his shirt buttons, he flushes a little again, once again sort of obliterated by something so simple.
he swallows, not in a bad way, just in a way that makes it clear he's veered into thinking about what 'whatever' can entail. please ruin him, he is weak. ]
[ Erwin's not the only one whose imagination is wandering in that general direction. Levi pauses his fiddling when Erwin reiterates; either he's spacing out or he's concentrating really hard. it's hard to tell with him sometimes.
then, suddenly he lets go, grabbing Erwin's teacup instead and handing it back to him. when Erwin takes it he takes a few steps back, never looking away, and takes his own cup.
he starts to drink it again. he doesn't chug it, but he's pretty clearly intent on downing the whole cup right there.
[ for a split-second erwin thinks he did something wrong, but levi's emotional state doesn't seem bad as far as he can feel, but then he's briefly staring at levi just drinking that tea down like nothing else.
while meeting his gaze.
and erwin can't help it: he flushes slightly again despite himself, before drinking his tea as well. it's a race, perhaps, to who will finish their tea first.
it happens to be erwin, actually, and he sets his cup aside and barely waits for levi to finish his before he's planting his hand lightly at his hip. ]
[ when Erwin finishes his tea first his brows furrow, almost like he's scowling for losing the race even though it's not a race and that was never the idea.
whatever.
anyway, once he does finish his he sets the cup back down and takes a moment just to appreciate how goddamn delicious it is and to acknowledge how fucking stupid it was to just pound it in one go like that instead of savoring it slowly. stupid, admittedly, but in this particular situation he doesn't think he'll regret it.
Erwin putting his hand on his hip like that makes him wonder if he knows what he's up to, even though he's trying really hard not to broadcast it. it's not terribly difficult because he doesn't actually know what exactly he's doing. honestly, he's not sure if he ever will.
he holds Erwin's hand where it is for a moment, and then takes it in his own and starts to lead him out of the kitchen, still without a word. ]
[ erwin huffs an amused sound at that brow furrow, but he's too intent on the situation otherwise to make commentary on it because his nerves feel a little like they're buzzing under his skin. not in a bad way, but in quiet anticipation.
he's happy to just look at levi a moment longer too, taking in his features like he always does: as though he's seeing him for the first time and memorizing them forever because he's immediately fallen in love.
intense, like the rest of him.
he is, of course, pliant when levi takes his hand (he threads their fingers) and he trails after him easily, squeezing a little. he's perfectly happy to let levi take point on anything at all, and doubly so when he's going to move into something he seems so intent on.
he also continues to not say anything, letting levi take point on the silence as well.
[ if Erwin doesn't know what Levi is up to, then they have that in common. what the hell is he doing?
honestly, he's not really thinking about it. it's just happening. Erwin will pick up on that pretty easily.
but it's not really necessary, as it turns out, because the place he's leading Erwin to isn't far: it's just their room. and once he's dragged Erwin in there, he closes the door behind him and leans back against it, gaze dropping down to the side like he did something wrong and he knows it.
he still doesn't say anything at first. ]
I—
[ fuck. by now he's flushed again, and he presses a hand to his forehead, deeply embarrassed for some reason. ]
[ of course it's their room. it's not that erwin didn't expect it, but his heart rate still jumps a little. why? don't worry about it. he's happy to be led inside, happy to just look at levi leaned up against the door (he swallows, once; for some reason it seems way more evocative than it might otherwise).
but levi looking down and acting so embarrassed pulls him out of his untoward thoughts enough that he steps up close, hand cradling his nape as he noses a kiss to his temple, breathing out against him. ]
It's alright. I'm a little overwhelmed too. Do you want to see what comes as a natural progression of starting slow?
[ god damn, how is he still so bad at this? is it because he's making an attempt to initiate something himself? is it because he still has some shit to get over? is it because he's a fucking idiot?
yes.
he uncovers his face, but it takes him a second to look up at Erwin; he's flushed but there's nothing unsure in his eyes. there never is with Erwin.
instead of his own face he lifts his hand to Erwin's, drawing him down for a soft but insistent kiss. his other arm curls around Erwin's back and pulls him in closer, not really concerned with how he's trapped himself against the door.
personal space who? he'd much rather have this, and Erwin did say he can have whatever he wants. ]
[ erwin leans into the touch easily, into the kiss, pouring that normal fervent devotion against his mouth like it's the easiest thing in the world.
(it is.)
but with the encouragement he does lean into levi more, hemming him in against the door since he doesn't seem to mind it, and when he does break the kiss it's just to trail them along his jaw instead, down to below his ear. easy, slow, testing.
then: ]
I love you.
[ how many more times will he say it before it gets old? it will never get old. ]
[ he breathes a contented sigh at Erwin's words, letting go of the needless tension, and he curls his arm around the back of Erwin's head, pressing a kiss into his hair. ]
I love you.
[ —but he didn't chug his tea and then drag Erwin in here just to stand here like this. no, he's going to... uh, well, probably not take charge, but... something. he'll do something.
right now, he's going to get back to messing with Erwin's shirt, but this time he is going to unbutton it. wow. ]
[ to his credit, erwin would be content even if it was just this. anything more is just a welcome addition.
like the kiss to his head, the way levi's hands move to unbutton his shirt. erwin presses his hand to the small of levi's back in response, thumb rubbing over a small section of skin under his shirt. he's still doing the idle kisses thing, just slowly and adoringly moving along levi's neck, breath warm against his skin with every exhale.
[ for a brief moment he stops what he's doing; he's clearly still intent on doing it, but it's like he's caught up on what Erwin says. it doesn't really come as a surprise, and he can't say he's disappointed to hear it, but would that actually be what's best for Erwin in the end?
he was completely certain he was going to die alone before he ended up here. he wouldn't have it any other way, but he's not sure if he could wish the same for Erwin.
he just shakes his head a little and gets back to the unbuttoning. ]
[ to erwin, there's no question. there never was, is, or will be anyone like levi for him. without levi, he would also die alone. there'd be no attempts otherwise, not any consideration for even trying to find anyone else because when you love someone so bone deep, you know there's no one else.
when levi pauses erwin looks down at him before leaning in to press a kiss to his mouth after he speaks, lingering there a moment as he considers how to word what he wants to say. ]
We're too perfectly matched for any other puzzle pieces to fit. I wouldn't want there to be anyone else.
[ his expression softens; it's impossible for him to frown when Erwin kisses him anyway, but he's happy that Erwin feels the same way. of course he doesn't want either of them to end up alone (again), but at the same time the thought of Erwin with someone else is almost unbearable.
he wants him to be happy above everything else, but if he can be the one to make that happen, well... that's a dream come true, frankly.
he smiles against Erwin's mouth at the thought. ]
Neither would I.
[ with that, he finally finishes unbuttoning Erwin's shirt. it stays on for now, but his hands slip underneath to rest at his waist, leaning in to press a kiss where his shoulder meets his neck. ]
[ it's comfortable like this, with levi's hands on him, working his shirt open, his mouth idling a kiss that makes him tilt his head. he exhales slowly, eyes lidding, and watches him from this angle as his hand shifts around until he can run fingers through levi's hair in encouragement. ]
I've said it before, but you're so much stronger than me. [ soft and aching, like how he feels right now. ] I'm positive I wouldn't have lasted without you.
[ there's so much he could say about that. he feels all of it regardless, but this isn't the time to tell Erwin that he's just stubborn and hard to kill, or that he only kept going to keep his promise, or that he dreaded every new day he had to live without Erwin. he doesn't want him to be thinking about things like that, especially not right now.
he shakes his head, nuzzling his face closer into Erwin's neck. ]
You're a lot stronger than you think you are.
[ he presses a soft kiss where he is, and then a little higher underneath his ear, which is about as far as he can reach even on his toes. his hands move up to Erwin's shoulders to gently slide his shirt off and onto the floor. (it's fine because the floor is clean.) ]
But it doesn't matter, because I'm always gonna be here.
[ but he doesn't comment on that further. he doesn't want to sour the moment, to drag the mood down when things are going so well (comparatively to their previous lives) for them. this place is dangerous but they're both here, both alive, and that's what matters.
he leans easily into the kisses, then tips his head forward to return the affection to levi's mouth again as his shirt slides off his shoulders. ]
I know. We both are. [ softer. ] I love you.
[ his hand drops to slide down levi's side now, settling at his hip. ]
[ he's happy to return the kiss, and then his hand finds Erwin's at his hip and guides it further around to rest at his back, stepping in closer in his first attempt to actually move away from the door. as he watches Erwin's face, he can't help but smile. how the hell did he get so incredibly lucky? this is already a 10/10 birthday.
his hand glides up Erwin's arm, and the other moves to rest at his belt. ]
[ levi's smile is enough to make his day under any circumstances, and it's always obvious in the way he perks up about it, how it guides his own smile and ease. ]
How could I ever? You've made it abundantly clear.
[ his thumb is rubbing circles on levi's hip as he speaks, and as levi moves closer erwin takes a step back into the room, but simultaneously keeps levi close to him so they're both moving inward. ]
And if you ever struggle to remember, I'll remind you as much as you need.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Sorry, sorry.
[ he doesn't sound sorry, but he does sound indescribably fond. ]
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[ he punches Erwin very very lightly in the chest. it's not very convincing. it's even less convincing when he then uses that same hand to hold Erwin's head where it is at his level so he can kiss him again. ]
I'm going to remember you said that, though.
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when they're done kissing.
he smiles against his mouth, though, and doesn't draw away to answer. ]
I'd expect nothing less.
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[ don't make fun of him. he is physically incapable of punching Erwin harder than that.
(just kidding. please make fun of him.) ]
Maybe I'll happen to remember it later. It is my birthday, after all.
[ this shit again. no one is buying it, buddy. ]
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well, we all know the answer.
he steals another kiss after levi speaks, considering his answer before responding. ]
It is your birthday, which means you can have whatever you want.
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Really?
[ it's hard to say whether he's being unsubtle on purpose as a bit or if he just doesn't know what he's doing as usual, but either way, he very un-subtly starts fiddling with some of the buttons on Erwin's shirt. not undoing, just fiddling. ]
Whatever I want?
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[ honestly, the win keeps flopping back and forth between the both of them, because once levi starts fiddling (not undoing, just fiddling) with his shirt buttons, he flushes a little again, once again sort of obliterated by something so simple.
he swallows, not in a bad way, just in a way that makes it clear he's veered into thinking about what 'whatever' can entail. please ruin him, he is weak. ]
As I said. Whatever you want.
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then, suddenly he lets go, grabbing Erwin's teacup instead and handing it back to him. when Erwin takes it he takes a few steps back, never looking away, and takes his own cup.
he starts to drink it again. he doesn't chug it, but he's pretty clearly intent on downing the whole cup right there.
he still doesn't break eye contact. ]
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while meeting his gaze.
and erwin can't help it: he flushes slightly again despite himself, before drinking his tea as well. it's a race, perhaps, to who will finish their tea first.
it happens to be erwin, actually, and he sets his cup aside and barely waits for levi to finish his before he's planting his hand lightly at his hip. ]
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whatever.
anyway, once he does finish his he sets the cup back down and takes a moment just to appreciate how goddamn delicious it is and to acknowledge how fucking stupid it was to just pound it in one go like that instead of savoring it slowly. stupid, admittedly, but in this particular situation he doesn't think he'll regret it.
Erwin putting his hand on his hip like that makes him wonder if he knows what he's up to, even though he's trying really hard not to broadcast it. it's not terribly difficult because he doesn't actually know what exactly he's doing. honestly, he's not sure if he ever will.
he holds Erwin's hand where it is for a moment, and then takes it in his own and starts to lead him out of the kitchen, still without a word. ]
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he's happy to just look at levi a moment longer too, taking in his features like he always does: as though he's seeing him for the first time and memorizing them forever because he's immediately fallen in love.
intense, like the rest of him.
he is, of course, pliant when levi takes his hand (he threads their fingers) and he trails after him easily, squeezing a little. he's perfectly happy to let levi take point on anything at all, and doubly so when he's going to move into something he seems so intent on.
he also continues to not say anything, letting levi take point on the silence as well.
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honestly, he's not really thinking about it. it's just happening. Erwin will pick up on that pretty easily.
but it's not really necessary, as it turns out, because the place he's leading Erwin to isn't far: it's just their room. and once he's dragged Erwin in there, he closes the door behind him and leans back against it, gaze dropping down to the side like he did something wrong and he knows it.
he still doesn't say anything at first. ]
I—
[ fuck. by now he's flushed again, and he presses a hand to his forehead, deeply embarrassed for some reason. ]
I'm sorry. I'm not sure what I'm doing.
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but levi looking down and acting so embarrassed pulls him out of his untoward thoughts enough that he steps up close, hand cradling his nape as he noses a kiss to his temple, breathing out against him. ]
It's alright. I'm a little overwhelmed too. Do you want to see what comes as a natural progression of starting slow?
[ it's the easiest solution, after all. ]
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yes.
he uncovers his face, but it takes him a second to look up at Erwin; he's flushed but there's nothing unsure in his eyes. there never is with Erwin.
instead of his own face he lifts his hand to Erwin's, drawing him down for a soft but insistent kiss. his other arm curls around Erwin's back and pulls him in closer, not really concerned with how he's trapped himself against the door.
personal space who? he'd much rather have this, and Erwin did say he can have whatever he wants. ]
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(it is.)
but with the encouragement he does lean into levi more, hemming him in against the door since he doesn't seem to mind it, and when he does break the kiss it's just to trail them along his jaw instead, down to below his ear. easy, slow, testing.
then: ]
I love you.
[ how many more times will he say it before it gets old? it will never get old. ]
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I love you.
[ —but he didn't chug his tea and then drag Erwin in here just to stand here like this. no, he's going to... uh, well, probably not take charge, but... something. he'll do something.
right now, he's going to get back to messing with Erwin's shirt, but this time he is going to unbutton it. wow. ]
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like the kiss to his head, the way levi's hands move to unbutton his shirt. erwin presses his hand to the small of levi's back in response, thumb rubbing over a small section of skin under his shirt. he's still doing the idle kisses thing, just slowly and adoringly moving along levi's neck, breath warm against his skin with every exhale.
he hums, thoughtful, then adds: ]
You know there could never be anyone else.
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he was completely certain he was going to die alone before he ended up here. he wouldn't have it any other way, but he's not sure if he could wish the same for Erwin.
he just shakes his head a little and gets back to the unbuttoning. ]
There was never anyone else.
[ there never would have been. ]
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when levi pauses erwin looks down at him before leaning in to press a kiss to his mouth after he speaks, lingering there a moment as he considers how to word what he wants to say. ]
We're too perfectly matched for any other puzzle pieces to fit. I wouldn't want there to be anyone else.
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he wants him to be happy above everything else, but if he can be the one to make that happen, well... that's a dream come true, frankly.
he smiles against Erwin's mouth at the thought. ]
Neither would I.
[ with that, he finally finishes unbuttoning Erwin's shirt. it stays on for now, but his hands slip underneath to rest at his waist, leaning in to press a kiss where his shoulder meets his neck. ]
no subject
[ it's comfortable like this, with levi's hands on him, working his shirt open, his mouth idling a kiss that makes him tilt his head. he exhales slowly, eyes lidding, and watches him from this angle as his hand shifts around until he can run fingers through levi's hair in encouragement. ]
I've said it before, but you're so much stronger than me. [ soft and aching, like how he feels right now. ] I'm positive I wouldn't have lasted without you.
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he shakes his head, nuzzling his face closer into Erwin's neck. ]
You're a lot stronger than you think you are.
[ he presses a soft kiss where he is, and then a little higher underneath his ear, which is about as far as he can reach even on his toes. his hands move up to Erwin's shoulders to gently slide his shirt off and onto the floor. (it's fine because the floor is clean.) ]
But it doesn't matter, because I'm always gonna be here.
no subject
[ but he doesn't comment on that further. he doesn't want to sour the moment, to drag the mood down when things are going so well (comparatively to their previous lives) for them. this place is dangerous but they're both here, both alive, and that's what matters.
he leans easily into the kisses, then tips his head forward to return the affection to levi's mouth again as his shirt slides off his shoulders. ]
I know. We both are. [ softer. ] I love you.
[ his hand drops to slide down levi's side now, settling at his hip. ]
I don't want you to ever forget that.
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[ he's happy to return the kiss, and then his hand finds Erwin's at his hip and guides it further around to rest at his back, stepping in closer in his first attempt to actually move away from the door. as he watches Erwin's face, he can't help but smile. how the hell did he get so incredibly lucky? this is already a 10/10 birthday.
his hand glides up Erwin's arm, and the other moves to rest at his belt. ]
I won't forget as long as you won't.
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How could I ever? You've made it abundantly clear.
[ his thumb is rubbing circles on levi's hip as he speaks, and as levi moves closer erwin takes a step back into the room, but simultaneously keeps levi close to him so they're both moving inward. ]
And if you ever struggle to remember, I'll remind you as much as you need.
(no subject)