[ he's gone through a completely insane amount of trauma throughout his life, and he's still managed to make it this far—it's not an insignificant thing by any means just to have survived, but there are some things he'll probably never be free from. losing his mother crushed his whole world very early on, and he's lost so many others since then, but Erwin...
there was nothing like losing Erwin.
he doesn't regret the decision to let him go and he never will, but part of him died that day, too. Erwin is alive again, though, and he doesn't know how but if that happened doesn't that mean the part of him that shriveled up should be able to come back as well?
yeah, he thinks so. it already has—partially. maybe with enough time he'll be back to 100% and he won't have these moments where the grief creeps back up on him even as he looks Erwin right in the face. he spent so long wishing he could see Erwin's face again, but he had nothing he could look at. he can still hardly believe he can look at it whenever he wants now. for a long moment, that's all he does.
he slides his hand down to rest on Erwin's face, silently thankful that he has this chance to look into his eyes again. his fingertips trace down the lines of his cheekbones, over to his lips, and then he returns to the back of Erwin's neck to draw him down to kiss him again. his other arm wraps more firmly around Erwin's waist, trying to pull him closer (read: down) against him.
there's something a little more needy in his actions now. still not exactly confident, maybe, but he knows what he wants, and it's right in front of him.
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there was nothing like losing Erwin.
he doesn't regret the decision to let him go and he never will, but part of him died that day, too. Erwin is alive again, though, and he doesn't know how but if that happened doesn't that mean the part of him that shriveled up should be able to come back as well?
yeah, he thinks so. it already has—partially. maybe with enough time he'll be back to 100% and he won't have these moments where the grief creeps back up on him even as he looks Erwin right in the face. he spent so long wishing he could see Erwin's face again, but he had nothing he could look at. he can still hardly believe he can look at it whenever he wants now. for a long moment, that's all he does.
he slides his hand down to rest on Erwin's face, silently thankful that he has this chance to look into his eyes again. his fingertips trace down the lines of his cheekbones, over to his lips, and then he returns to the back of Erwin's neck to draw him down to kiss him again. his other arm wraps more firmly around Erwin's waist, trying to pull him closer (read: down) against him.
there's something a little more needy in his actions now. still not exactly confident, maybe, but he knows what he wants, and it's right in front of him.
somehow. ]