[ when you share an apartment building, you know . . . you're bound to run into each other. ezekiel has just arrived from a day of work, the work being from the city zoo. in khaki uniform and everything, he opens his mailbox and flips right through the bills, a supermarket booklet for discounts and junk mail, brows crunched as he did. nothing of importance except for one thing: a paperback issue of the latest volume of the international journal of primatology. ]
You saved the day . . .
[ he says. to the book. and is probably still blocking the way to the other mailboxes with his bloated winter coat. ]
[ it sure is a lot harder to avoid someone when they live in the same building. impossible, even. when he sees Zeke loitering in front of the mailboxes his first instinct is to just turn back and come get his mail later, but why should he have to do that? motherfucker needs to get out of the way.
he huffs, indignant as usual. ]
Can't you at least wait until you're back in your apartment to go through all your chimp porn?
[ chimp porn— zeke waits to turn around so that he could kind of. swallow that, dryly. you can burn him, but don't burn his apes. this was science!!! ]
You should go to the zoo sometime, Levi. [ keeping his bills, junk mail and his science porn closed and under his arm, he clears his throat. ] They're bound to launch shit at you for that.
[ because i’d tell them to, but since that’s his little secret— zeke sighs. ]
Oh, don’t worry about me. It’s actually science porn. [ he holds the journal up and gives it a wave. ] As for them, well. . . I’d be offended if I were a chimp.
[ lol……… he would. which is why he’s almost smiling. almost! ]
And waste my time on The Google? [ that’s actually a joke. you can tell that he’s trying to be fly— the internet is all he uses for his work, but . . . ] I’m a little old fashioned with my reads. The weight of paper in my hands speaks louder than a tablet. And speaking of chimps, [ let him show you, page 247: he’s the main author of one of the articles! behavioral responses to bedding of 25 western hoolock gibbons (Hoolock hoolock) in captivity— ] I still prefer Gibbons.
[ he feels like he’s winning this round. he’s being smug. ]
[ oh. he wasn't expecting this! quickly, zeke puts his cigarette out from outside and makes for the door. who could it be? he wasn't expecting anyone— surely it wasn't levi, here to pick up his cat.
opening the door a crack, it was, and he can't say he wasn't actually surprised. he was. ]
Oh, er— Hi. You . . . Wouldn't be here for a cat, would you?
[ (the cat is on the sofa, acting like it owns the place). ]
[ did someone order a bright warm ray of sunshine? here he is, looking as enthused as ever, though perhaps not quite as irate as he used to be when in Zeke's presence. baby steps? (not a short joke.)
he arches an eyebrow, a little incredulous. ]
You look surprised. Did you think I was gonna climb in from outside?
I thought you were going to call me a liar, first. Or just flip me off.
[ ………………… well it’s true…………… ]
—Come in.
[ he makes way, though his place isn’t too interesting. just your average nerd home, papers stacked on the table with a laptop opened to walls of words, sci-fi and baseball figurines litter his furniture. not to mention actualart on the wall. ]
[ he's actually doing this, isn't he? he's actually going to go inside this motherfucker's home. he's not being held at gunpoint. no one's life is at stake. he's not hiding from the police.
that's character development, bro. ]
You think I'd come all the way over here just to flip you off? [ (he would.) ] Obviously the cat wasn't there, so it wasn't exactly a stretch to believe that he'd—
[ as he steps into the apartment, his eyes are promptly assaulted by the art hanging on the wall. for a moment he just stares at it blankly, rendered speechless by the audacity of its sheer existence.
then he turns to its owner, a familiar disdain plain on his face. ]
[ this was all going actually okay until his taste in art and apes is questioned. zeke makes a sound, and points to the glorious paintings on his wall. ]
Really. These? They're a work of art, [ meanwhile, a fucking orangutandid actually float from one room to the opposite one. like there's nothing happening in here. zeke didn't see it. this all happened behind his line of vision. ] and existentialism!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
throws a rock in here
You saved the day . . .
[ he says. to the book. and is probably still blocking the way to the other mailboxes with his bloated winter coat. ]
get out
he huffs, indignant as usual. ]
Can't you at least wait until you're back in your apartment to go through all your chimp porn?
i can't now that you sent that
You should go to the zoo sometime, Levi. [ keeping his bills, junk mail and his science porn closed and under his arm, he clears his throat. ] They're bound to launch shit at you for that.
🔪
Why would they? I'm talking shit about you, not them.
no subject
Oh, don’t worry about me. It’s actually science porn. [ he holds the journal up and gives it a wave. ] As for them, well. . . I’d be offended if I were a chimp.
no subject
[ not exactly a sick burn when this weirdo would probably love to be a chimp, but it comes out anyway. he rolls his eyes at the thought. ]
Who even gets shit like that in the mail anymore? Do you not know how to use the internet?
no subject
And waste my time on The Google? [ that’s actually a joke. you can tell that he’s trying to be fly— the internet is all he uses for his work, but . . . ] I’m a little old fashioned with my reads. The weight of paper in my hands speaks louder than a tablet. And speaking of chimps, [ let him show you, page 247: he’s the main author of one of the articles! behavioral responses to bedding of 25 western hoolock gibbons (Hoolock hoolock) in captivity— ] I still prefer Gibbons.
[ he feels like he’s winning this round. he’s being smug. ]
no subject
Didn't ask.
[ and then he finally just pushes his way back to his mailbox.
it's empty. ]
no subject
All of that— for nothing? Not even junk mail?
[ that’s. that’s so sad. ]
no subject
he pushes his mailbox closed, perhaps a little harder than necessary. ]
Why the fuck would I want junk mail? Getting nothing is better than getting garbage.
[ or chimp porn. ]
no subject
[ says one who never uses cupons. he feels like he’s getting under his skin, though! and that’s a plus. take that, for saying “chimp porn”! ]
We’re you expecting something?
no subject
[ you know what? he's gonna move. he's literally going to go home and immediately get online and look at other apartment buildings. jesus christ. ]
I get coupons in my email. It's called "giving a shit about the environment." You should try it sometime. Don't monkeys live in trees?
no subject
crap he’s been had ]
—I recycle.
[ that was the worst comeback— maybe it’s time to go, too. he’s swiftly lost this one. ]
Damnit.
text (sometime after zoo world)
no subject
thanks, cat. ]
no subject
opening the door a crack, it was, and he can't say he wasn't actually surprised. he was. ]
Oh, er— Hi. You . . . Wouldn't be here for a cat, would you?
[ (the cat is on the sofa, acting like it owns the place). ]
no subject
he arches an eyebrow, a little incredulous. ]
You look surprised. Did you think I was gonna climb in from outside?
no subject
[ ………………… well it’s true…………… ]
—Come in.
[ he makes way, though his place isn’t too interesting. just your average nerd home, papers stacked on the table with a laptop opened to walls of words, sci-fi and baseball figurines litter his furniture. not to mention actual art on the wall. ]
no subject
that's character development, bro. ]
You think I'd come all the way over here just to flip you off? [ (he would.) ] Obviously the cat wasn't there, so it wasn't exactly a stretch to believe that he'd—
[ as he steps into the apartment, his eyes are promptly assaulted by the art hanging on the wall. for a moment he just stares at it blankly, rendered speechless by the audacity of its sheer existence.
then he turns to its owner, a familiar disdain plain on his face. ]
Really?
no subject
Really. These? They're a work of art, [ meanwhile, a fucking orangutan did actually float from one room to the opposite one. like there's nothing happening in here. zeke didn't see it. this all happened behind his line of vision. ] and existentialism!