he didn't expect to wake at all, realistically, but here he is, awake and surrounded by wounded and dying, all in distress. his first thought is that he'd never considered the concept of an afterlife seriously, but his second is that he can help.
he's bleeding badly from a wound in his side that's smaller than he vaguely remembers it being, but that doesn't matter. he can stand, so he does. he can rip long strips of fabric off ruined seats and wrap them around his torso using his arm and hip for leverage. he can't tie them off but he tucks them under other layers to keep them in place for now. it's not much, but it's something.
once he's at least got it wrapped in a few layers, not that it's going to help much long-term, he briefly turns his attention to the device on his wrist before deeming other things currently more important, such as providing assistance where he can.
because of course he does.
he does explore the place when he can, between doing triage to see who needs assistance the most (it's him, because he got hit with a giant rock and had a chunk taken out of him but apparently less of one than it should be) and doing anything he's able to.
it's when he's finally nearing the very front of the train that he sees— ]
Levi.
[ on a surprised rush of breath as he closes the distance between them in only a few long strides, wiping his hand on a bit of clean uniform before lifting it to touch his face like he's making sure he's real.
it can't be that levi died, so this place has to be something else entirely. ]
the only thing is, he's pretty sure he's dead. there was an explosion, and then there was nothing—and then he was here, on this train, surrounded by other dead people. some of them aren't dead, presumably, but everyone he's checked so far has been dead, so he's beginning to think it's time to just get the fuck out of here.
just as he's about to move on, he goes from looking into the face of one dead man to another.
it's impossible to put a name to what he feels in that moment, looking into the eyes of the only man he's ever loved. it's been close to five years since that man died. is this some kind of afterlife, then? if so, why are all these people dead again?
it doesn't matter. just for right now, he doesn't give a single fuck if they're actually dead, or if he's actually dead, or if this is hell, or if they were just on their way there. Erwin is standing there in front of him, touching his face with his remaining hand.
it's warm. his eyes are clear. his voice is strong. he's bleeding, but they're all bleeding. this can't be real, right?
he grasps Erwin's arm with both hands, like he can brute-force it into being reality. he stares in agonizing disbelief into his eyes, unblinking, as if the illusion might slip away if he closes his eyes.
he can't speak. he can barely even breathe. is he really going to let himself be fooled so easily and so thoroughly?
apparently so. his heart can't take the alternative. ]
[ everything fades to nothing around them, and it doesn't matter. nothing matters in this exact moment but levi's grasp on his arm, erwin's thumb brushing along levi's jaw like he's trying to convince both of them that they're really here. that they're together, that none of this is a dream (a nightmare, considering the location).
he exhales slowly and it shakes. and it's not a thing that happens, but—his hand is trembling slightly where it rests. he closes what little distance is left to lean down and press their foreheads together, not caring that the act of bending over is complete agony from the wound. he's put a jacket over top of the whole thing by now, sorry to the dead guy he took it from, so it's partially hidden, but they both know it's there. ]
I didn't expect to see you again.
[ quietly. they both know this too, what he means. and then: ]
You were right.
[ he should've listened. he knows levi doesn't want to have been right, but what's happened happened.
he's almost afraid to ask levi how long it's been for him. he remembers the exhausted lines of levi's face, just last night for him, but this is amplified by so much.
[ he hears what Erwin says to him, but he doesn't respond to any of it. he doesn't want to be right, and he didn't expect to see Erwin again, either, obviously—none of that seems important.
Erwin is dead. he bled out right in front of him. Levi let him bleed out right in front of him, because it was the kinder option. Erwin probably thinks it was some kind of logical conclusion based on the facts of the situation, or the likelihood of their future victory, but it wasn't. he chose to let Erwin die, so why the fuck is he alive?
is it okay to be happy about this?
the coat Erwin's wearing isn't his. that doesn't really matter, but it's covering up what should be a gaping wound on his side. when he pushes it aside and sees blood he panics all over again, even if Erwin's clearly faring much better now than he was that day on the rooftop. ]
I need to get you out of here. There has to be someone who can—
[ his voice is rushed and fearful until he can't seem to use it anymore. if he has to watch Erwin die again, then they really are in hell. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
makes this post a catchall for this stuff
he didn't expect to wake at all, realistically, but here he is, awake and surrounded by wounded and dying, all in distress. his first thought is that he'd never considered the concept of an afterlife seriously, but his second is that he can help.
he's bleeding badly from a wound in his side that's smaller than he vaguely remembers it being, but that doesn't matter. he can stand, so he does. he can rip long strips of fabric off ruined seats and wrap them around his torso using his arm and hip for leverage. he can't tie them off but he tucks them under other layers to keep them in place for now. it's not much, but it's something.
once he's at least got it wrapped in a few layers, not that it's going to help much long-term, he briefly turns his attention to the device on his wrist before deeming other things currently more important, such as providing assistance where he can.
because of course he does.
he does explore the place when he can, between doing triage to see who needs assistance the most (it's him, because he got hit with a giant rock and had a chunk taken out of him but apparently less of one than it should be) and doing anything he's able to.
it's when he's finally nearing the very front of the train that he sees— ]
Levi.
[ on a surprised rush of breath as he closes the distance between them in only a few long strides, wiping his hand on a bit of clean uniform before lifting it to touch his face like he's making sure he's real.
it can't be that levi died, so this place has to be something else entirely. ]
no subject
the only thing is, he's pretty sure he's dead. there was an explosion, and then there was nothing—and then he was here, on this train, surrounded by other dead people. some of them aren't dead, presumably, but everyone he's checked so far has been dead, so he's beginning to think it's time to just get the fuck out of here.
just as he's about to move on, he goes from looking into the face of one dead man to another.
it's impossible to put a name to what he feels in that moment, looking into the eyes of the only man he's ever loved. it's been close to five years since that man died. is this some kind of afterlife, then? if so, why are all these people dead again?
it doesn't matter. just for right now, he doesn't give a single fuck if they're actually dead, or if he's actually dead, or if this is hell, or if they were just on their way there. Erwin is standing there in front of him, touching his face with his remaining hand.
it's warm. his eyes are clear. his voice is strong. he's bleeding, but they're all bleeding. this can't be real, right?
he grasps Erwin's arm with both hands, like he can brute-force it into being reality. he stares in agonizing disbelief into his eyes, unblinking, as if the illusion might slip away if he closes his eyes.
he can't speak. he can barely even breathe. is he really going to let himself be fooled so easily and so thoroughly?
apparently so. his heart can't take the alternative. ]
no subject
he exhales slowly and it shakes. and it's not a thing that happens, but—his hand is trembling slightly where it rests. he closes what little distance is left to lean down and press their foreheads together, not caring that the act of bending over is complete agony from the wound. he's put a jacket over top of the whole thing by now, sorry to the dead guy he took it from, so it's partially hidden, but they both know it's there. ]
I didn't expect to see you again.
[ quietly. they both know this too, what he means. and then: ]
You were right.
[ he should've listened. he knows levi doesn't want to have been right, but what's happened happened.
he's almost afraid to ask levi how long it's been for him. he remembers the exhausted lines of levi's face, just last night for him, but this is amplified by so much.
how long does he have to atone for? ]
no subject
Erwin is dead. he bled out right in front of him. Levi let him bleed out right in front of him, because it was the kinder option. Erwin probably thinks it was some kind of logical conclusion based on the facts of the situation, or the likelihood of their future victory, but it wasn't. he chose to let Erwin die, so why the fuck is he alive?
is it okay to be happy about this?
the coat Erwin's wearing isn't his. that doesn't really matter, but it's covering up what should be a gaping wound on his side. when he pushes it aside and sees blood he panics all over again, even if Erwin's clearly faring much better now than he was that day on the rooftop. ]
I need to get you out of here. There has to be someone who can—
[ his voice is rushed and fearful until he can't seem to use it anymore. if he has to watch Erwin die again, then they really are in hell. ]