[ years after the fact, he still drives himself a little bit insane thinking about how he wasn't there the day Erwin lost his arm. is this what it was like? all he really knows is that Erwin was telling everyone to leave him behind and keep going because he could be replaced.
that Erwin said that—and even worse, truly believed it—breaks his heart still.
he'll never know if this is what it looked like that day, but this time he's here, and he's not wasting any time. or he's trying not to waste any time, but what the hell is he supposed to do? "bones grinding together?" it's a horrific thing to hear, made even worse by the fact that he can't make it stop.
fuck. he can't let Erwin be in this much pain. it's like the antithesis to his entire being, and he can't do anything. why is he even here if he can't do anything?
he steps down in front of Erwin and slips his arms around him—not too tight, because he's afraid he'll make it worse, but hopefully close enough to be a comfort if nothing else. his face is muffled by Erwin's shoulder, but he makes sure Erwin can hear him. ]
I'm here. It's all right.
[ it's definitely not all right, but the alternative is just screaming. this is probably the way to go. ]
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that Erwin said that—and even worse, truly believed it—breaks his heart still.
he'll never know if this is what it looked like that day, but this time he's here, and he's not wasting any time. or he's trying not to waste any time, but what the hell is he supposed to do? "bones grinding together?" it's a horrific thing to hear, made even worse by the fact that he can't make it stop.
fuck. he can't let Erwin be in this much pain. it's like the antithesis to his entire being, and he can't do anything. why is he even here if he can't do anything?
he steps down in front of Erwin and slips his arms around him—not too tight, because he's afraid he'll make it worse, but hopefully close enough to be a comfort if nothing else. his face is muffled by Erwin's shoulder, but he makes sure Erwin can hear him. ]
I'm here. It's all right.
[ it's definitely not all right, but the alternative is just screaming. this is probably the way to go. ]