[ when erwin wakes, he's not sure where he is at first. he doesn't panic but it comes close as the memories come crashing back down on him. memories of noctium, but also memories of what he'd just lived through.
died through.
he wonders how much time has passed since he was last conscious in noctium, and the thought that he left levi alone hits him all at once. as soon as he's able he gets up, shaking off the last of the feelings of drowsy weakness (though he still feels woozy for a while, he presses it aside) and...
... he goes. he's in plain clothing that was given to him because his uniform had been in tatters and covered in blood, and his new arm is gone (he'll have to get it replaced) because he'd been reverted to his previous state when he'd returned home and now... he doesn't look at the scarring under the clothing. he doesn't want to see it.
the last few moments of his life had been so fuzzy, so incomprehensible that he doesn't actually remember how things actually ended but that's not important right now; more important is getting to levi. it takes him a while to get back to their home and his heart sinks when he arrives to no one being there.
at first he sits, head in hands, feeling gutted and hollow.
then he cleans, because everything has a layer of dust on it and a frantic part of his mind that hopes levi will show up like nothing happened knows that levi would hate that. he's used to doing things one-armed again so it goes fine, but once he's done there's... nothing.
he goes to bed at night, gets up in the morning, and does very little other than the motions of living. he's not sure how long it is: it could be hours, it could be an eternity.
at least his ring had been on the bedside table; he'd put it on awkwardly, barely able to get it on his finger without dropping it (repeatedly, he still manages to drop it once or twice in his efforts). it soothes him a little, but the lack of levi is so unsettling and lonely that he's more a ghost than a man.
sometime early december.
died through.
he wonders how much time has passed since he was last conscious in noctium, and the thought that he left levi alone hits him all at once. as soon as he's able he gets up, shaking off the last of the feelings of drowsy weakness (though he still feels woozy for a while, he presses it aside) and...
... he goes. he's in plain clothing that was given to him because his uniform had been in tatters and covered in blood, and his new arm is gone (he'll have to get it replaced) because he'd been reverted to his previous state when he'd returned home and now... he doesn't look at the scarring under the clothing. he doesn't want to see it.
the last few moments of his life had been so fuzzy, so incomprehensible that he doesn't actually remember how things actually ended but that's not important right now; more important is getting to levi. it takes him a while to get back to their home and his heart sinks when he arrives to no one being there.
at first he sits, head in hands, feeling gutted and hollow.
then he cleans, because everything has a layer of dust on it and a frantic part of his mind that hopes levi will show up like nothing happened knows that levi would hate that. he's used to doing things one-armed again so it goes fine, but once he's done there's... nothing.
he goes to bed at night, gets up in the morning, and does very little other than the motions of living. he's not sure how long it is: it could be hours, it could be an eternity.
at least his ring had been on the bedside table; he'd put it on awkwardly, barely able to get it on his finger without dropping it (repeatedly, he still manages to drop it once or twice in his efforts). it soothes him a little, but the lack of levi is so unsettling and lonely that he's more a ghost than a man.
but he'll keep going just in case. ]